Toddler Nights- April 11, 2013

My child sleeping in a crib meant she was a baby. She could stand and peer over the edge and push toys between the bars, but she was still confined to an infant’s sleeping conditions. She may be a walking, talking toddler during the day, but she was my baby by night. I would rock her in her rocking chair before letting her retire to her crib. It was heaven.

It was a little bittersweet removing that front part of the crib to make a toddler bed. She suddenly seemed so grown-up in a bed instead of a crib. We made the change just when Charlotte turned two back in November. I had no idea, but this turned into the most delightful little surprise in my mommy life. Every night for the last five months I have gone upstairs to check on her before going to bed. Sometimes I have to arrange her ever lengthening limbs to keep her from falling eight inches onto the carpet. I cover her with a blanket.

I’ve found I absolutely love not having the front of the crib on her bed anymore.

I sit on the floor and lay my head next to hers and let my fingers get tangled in her curls. I listen to her breathe. I rub her back and feel the rise and fall of each of her breaths. I brush the back of my hand against her cheeks and thank God that this beautiful healthy child is ours.

This is usually when she startles and pushes my hand away. Then I smile because I really know she’s mine. I hate to be touched when I sleep, too. I give my little independent sleeper one more peck before slipping out of the room.

I wonder what other bittersweet milestones will end up being very sweet, after all?