Threenagers- March 23, 2014
Many weekends of the last several months we have attended third birthday parties. We help our daughter keep up with the active social life of her 3-year-old peers. At each of these parties, parents have similar conversations that usually include a phrase like, “I don’t know what is wrong with Junior, lately! He/she has been awful! I thought the ‘Terrible Two’s’ were over!”
Oh, they ARE over. In my experience, the tantrums of the Terrible Two’s have nothing on the meltdowns of “Threenagers.”
My mom has always said of my sister and me that ages 3 and 15 were the worst. I remember the hormonal ups and downs and adolescent insecurity that led to all the dumb shit I did as a 15-year-old, but age 3? Yikes. I have very little recollection.
To my mother’s delight, my daughter’s behavior has brought back memories of my reign as a threenaged tyrant. Here’s evidence of a few of Charlotte’s latest mood swings:
She said to me the other day, “You’re ruining my life!” I had a friend tell me her 3-year-old son recently shouted, “You don’t understand me!”
Threenagers. ::sigh::
Don’t get me wrong. She’s not a bad kid. Actually, she can be incredibly delightful. In fact, she only has two moods since she turned three, wonderful or awful. There is no in-between. When she is happy, she bubbles over with infectious, sweet energy. As a 3-year-old she is able to express her happiness and gratitude better than when she was younger. But, the flip side of that?! Well, see the above photos. She pushes her limits and tests her independence. Sometimes she just melts down and can’t get it together.
Hmm. I guess that’s not unlike when I went off with my friend and got my cartilage pierced at the mall without telling my mom. But, I was named to the National Honor Society the same year. There was no in-between wonderful and awful at age 15. My parents managed my teenage awful with “grounding” or some other suitable punishment. We’re handling our threenager with time-out or taking away toys. It works okay, but sometimes I think teenagers and threenagers need an ass-whooping.
Disclaimer: I don’t really spank my kid. Calm down, haters.
Spread it around:
I can deal with 3…DREADING 15, I see the awkwardness of the girls at the mall….I will not be able to relate at ALL.
I totally agree, Amy. At age 3 Mia is either delightful or the spawn of Satan. It seems like lately whenever we go out for a “special day” we have to get a major tantrum out of the way before we can have fun. We also are in the battle of trying to get her to listen and respond after the first time we tell her something because I refuse to keep chasing her around to tell her to stop doing something 800 times.
She did crack me up the other day because I told her she couldn’t do something she wanted so she wells up with tears and then stomps out of the room slamming the door and saying “Leave me alone.” It was definitely a preview of her teenage years.
Both will drive a parent crazy. However, after 30 years working with teens, I would note one major difference. When a 3 year old melts down, you may have to do some ass-whoopin’ and structure the discipline. However, when a 15 year old melts down, the risks of a nuclear waste-land of destruction is always a potential. Simply, the consequences for an off the wall, hormone defiant 15 year old are a whole lot more dangerous….as in the potential for body bags for everyone. At three, it’s closer to a padded cell…for the parents!
And, of note, it’s why I think I worked with teens rather than children or adults. I felt the stakes were much higher and someone needed to be there amid the chaos. But, that’s just me….
Well said, friend.
Wonderful or awful sums up my almost 3 year old.
All day. Wonderful or awful. That’s it.
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