On the night of the last day of November, that’s when parents suddenly remember.

Tomorrow is December 1st. Thank goodness, the kids’ behavior is the worst!

Christmas will be here really soon. We’ve been using Santa as a threat since June.

Our little friend with the creepy smile hasn’t been here for awhile.

The Thanksgiving holiday has come to an end. It’s time to succumb to a Pinterest trend.

Scrolling through your Facebook feed, you see parents preparing for their children’s greed.

They use a toy as behavior modification, as we all prepare for winter vacation.

The “Elf on the Shelf” is back in suburban homes. Your Instagram will be nothing but those weird little gnomes.

Last night brought intense pre-holiday panic. My child’s excitement for Christmas is manic.

She said, “Mama, my elf comes tomorrow!” as she went to bed. I thought, “Wait, where did we put it?” I smacked my head.

I scoured each closet, every drawer and each box. I found an old bottle opener and some missing socks.

I Facebook messaged my friends like, “Oh shit!” They were like, “Uh oh, girl you better find it!’

I have no idea where my husband tucked it away. Ugh! He’s in Vegas on business til’ Friday!

I started making an elf contingency plan. An elf letter saying “I’m still helping the big man!”

After preschool drop-off I’ll head to Barnes and Noble. That may prevent a meltdown ‘a la Chernobyl.

I gave it one last look in closet junk piles and racks. It was in a box with dry cleaning hangers and an unused Camelback.

My preschooler will not be a disenfranchised douchebag! “My ‘Elf on the Shelf’ is here!” she’ll brag.

Fellow parents! May your holiday tantrums be few and light. Don’t forget to move the damn elf each night.

My Santa hat is off to the authors of “Elf on the Shelf” not only for your fortune-making genius merchandising, but for your ability to rhyme that book. This poem, written in “Elf on the Shelf” style, took me for freaking ever. 

When I wrote my Christmas plea on Thursday I didn’t anticipate we would have fulfilled this holiday wish in a weekend. Ya’ll are amazing! Seriously, thank you for the Tweets, emails, comments and Facebook messages. We were overwhelmed. The Internet can be an awesome place some times.

We couldn’t have done it without your tips. Some of you had friends who worked at Target and had insider information about shipments. Others found out the dolls would be featured in the Sunday newspaper circular and dolls were likely being stored in warehouses before restocking on Sunday. Friends from other states sent me Facebook messages after discovering dolls were near them. Others were coming to the Raleigh area soon and promised to look at their Target before traveling. One reader just moved to town and happened to find my post as she was searching for dolls for her niece. She offered to help us find dolls for Charlotte. It was all amazing. THANK YOU!

Creepy. We know. I told you they were huge dolls. Ugh. They’re gonna haunt my dreams.

I’ve had people ask me, how did we get from Target app searches to Mommy/Elsa Daddy/Anna selfies? How did we NOT have to resort to price gougers charging 3 TIMES the price of the dolls on eBay and Amazon? Some legwork and then some luck made it happen. To get hard-to-find toys for the 2014 holiday, I have these tips:

1. Put out the word! Tell Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and your blog (if you have one) that you need help. You’d be surprised. I heard, “Hey, just saw one returned at XYZ store yesterday.”
2. Keep checking online. Everyday. I got the tip to check early in the morning. Someone told me about sites like this one that keep track of merchandise at certain stores.
3. Be an early bird! Call stores first thing in the morning. That is when they are unloading shipments. On Saturday I snagged Elsa when I called and they randomly happened to get two Elsas off the truck that morning. I had them put one on hold for me. The other was gone when I got there. I’m glad they held it because I had to answer the door for some Jehovah’s Witnesses before I could get to Target. True story. It was crazy cold and they wanted to share a passage from Jeremiah. They were very nice. I listened, but I was thinking of Elsa. Greyson got Anna at 7:00am on a Sunday. I heard others say they tried the early morning thing and struck out.
4. Luck. We got lucky.

Another thing to consider is shipping cost.  Someone in another state found a toy my friend’s son wanted a few years ago and was able to ship it. Well, it was smaller. Shipping was likely less. These dolls are ginormous. Lord knows how much it would have cost to mail them. Yeesh! I likely could’ve bought them on eBay for that price. My sister-in-law in Denver tried to find out if she could get free shipping with her Target card or Red Card or whatever they call it. I had my feelers out everywhere, but I focused my search in-state for that reason.

Again, thank you! We were so touched that friends, family and total strangers were willing to help our daughter’s Christmas wishes come true. Anna and Elsa are tucked away in a storage closet, creepily staring into the dark until Christmas morning. Happy Holidays everyone!

It was late September or early October when she first saw them. It was during a weekly pilgrimage to our suburban Mecca. You know, Target. My babes were tucked into the cart as I turned down the toy aisle so my daughter could pick out a present for the multiple 4th birthday parties we’ve been to this fall. We were shopping for boys so she bargained with me to go to her favorite place on earth, the princess aisle in the toy department.

It was maybe 10 seconds after I turned the corner that I heard her gasp. “Anna and Elsa! They’re giant!” I turned to see two dolls as big as my 4-year-old staring out of boxes marked “Only at Target.” Here they are, My Size Elsa and My Size Anna:

Picture from eBay.com

Have you seen them? Trust me, you’d know if you saw them, they are freakishly child-sized.  Well, I haven’t seen them since that day. Believe me, I’ve been to Target since then. Now I’m kicking myself for the discussion that ensued.

Her: “Mama! Can we get those dolls?!”

Me: “No, we’re not buying toys for you today. We’re getting presents for your friends.”

Her: “Mom, I just want to get out of the cart to look at them! Can I look at them?”

Me: “Charlotte, you have a hard time when we come to the princess aisle. If I let you out of the cart, you can look at the dolls, but when I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go. No fussing about it.”

Her: “Okay!”

This is when I tried to take her picture with the boxes to send my husband so he could share in this insanity. He had to witness the continued brilliance of Disney marketing that we’ve marveled at since “Frozen” was released last year. My phone died right then, so I’ll just tell you that her eyes were glazed over as she peered through the clear plastic at her heroines who were suddenly her size.

Her: “Mama can we get them?! Please!!??”

Me: “No, I told you we’re not buying toys for you today.”

Here’s where I went wrong but didn’t know it.

Me: “Maybe this is something you can put on your Christmas list. You could ask Santa for one of the dolls.”

Her: “I want Anna AND Elsa!”

Naturally. What was I thinking? There is no Anna without Elsa. Oh, and of course they are $59.99 each. Great, $120 for a pair of Arendelle royalty that are so big, it’s like adding two more 4-year-olds to our household.

I managed to peel her away with threats and promises, but not without tears. She negotiated one more look at the dolls if she was really good for the rest of our shopping trip.

Her: “Can we please get giant Anna and Elsa today?!”

Me: “No.”

Her: “But they’re so pretty!!!”

Me: “You can ask Santa Claus for them!”

Stupid. Stupid. STUPID! Yes! Encourage the child to ask the magic man I’m responsible for keeping magical for a toy associated with the hottest kids’ movie that is exclusive to one retailer. I’m an idiot.

These dolls are gone online. They’re gone at the area Targets I have called or visited. There are 16 Target stores in the greater Raleigh, NC area. In case you were wondering, the automated message at any store you call is the same. I will say, Target customer service at each store has been kind and helpful. I appreciate them not laughing at me or throttling me when they hear my request. Apparently they get LOTS of calls about My Size Anna and Elsa. They told me to keep checking for shipments. I asked if they’d have more on Black Friday. They don’t know. They may have more shipments by then, but I highly doubt they’ll discount them on Black Friday. They’d be fools to do that. They know suckers like me will pay $60 for each.

The empty shelf at one local Target Monday, November 10, 2014

She still discusses giant Anna and Elsa and says this is what she’s asking Santa for. I really hoped she would forget. I have BOLO’s out after calling relatives in other cities. (BOLO= Be On The Lookout) Yes, I’ve seen the bids on eBay upwards of $300 for the two dolls. I’m not interested in doing that. I have not seen them on Craigslist.

The hunt is on, Target! I’m gonna make this happen. People of the Internet, if you see one, please tweet me @SomebodysParent or email me at somebodysparent@gmail.com. 

If I don’t get one or both dolls, this may be a life lesson she learns this holiday season. The lesson is “You don’t always get everything you ask for at Christmas.” Honestly, the kid is gonna get great “Frozen” stuff, regardless. But, on Christmas morning I want to be able to say I did everything I could to get her the dolls. (Within reason.) Thanks in advance for helping my Ho Ho Heart.

Dear Charlotte,

I was looking at you in the rear view mirror in the car the other day and I couldn’t figure out what was different about you. Then I figured it out. You look like a 4-year-old.

Your hair falls in long waves. Many pieces are in spirals, making for lovely, chaotic curls that catch the air when you run. You run on legs that are getting longer. The smile on your face is the same as it has always been. It’s the smile you show when you see any number of things that you love.

You love preschool, your friends, your toys, making up stories, watching movies, swimming, dance class, gymnastics, reading books, listening to Disney Princess songs, learning about outer space and the earth, singing, dancing, climbing trees, playing on the playground, drawing, coloring, painting and talking. Phew! You are a busy kid. We wouldn’t have it any other way. You are the infectious energy that keeps our family going.

3 was an interesting age for you, Charlotte. As wonderful as you are, you had your moments of being 3, no doubt. Daddy and I are wondering what 4 will bring.

I’m excited to take you for your check-up at the doctor. You are small compared to many of your peers. You are slender and short. You have small feet. I call you “Senorita Tiny Feet.” Many friends your age wear shoes a whole size bigger. You don’t know that. I try not to compare you to your friends physically. I’m just making note of it here for when you read this one day. You may want to know this one day, I dunno.

Overall, you are a great eater who loves vegetables. You still eat lots of different foods, but recently have decided to be pickier. We’re hoping it’s a phase. You go to bed about 8:30 pm and get up around 7:00 pm. You still take a nap about 4 days a week. Not bad for a 4-year-old.

You’re a person with ideas and opinions. You are learning so much, it’s amazing. Everyday you surprise us with something new. I’ve said it before, it is the honor of my life to be your mother. Not a day goes by that I don’t marvel at how smart, funny and beautiful you are.

I have a good feeling about 4. I’m excited for what’s next. Happy Birthday. I love you, my darling, darling girl.

Love,

Mama

“The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four — of secondary importance is to prepare for being five.” ~Jim Trelease