It’s true that when you get married you marry your spouse’s whole family. Upon saying “I do,” you adopt the traditions and eccentricities of another family. In turn, your spouse adopts your family too. You know, the large vacations, messy divorces, awkward portrait sessions and holiday meals divided by generation. Ask my husband about sitting at the “kids table” when he was 30-years-old.

There are things to get used to when joining another family. I for one marveled at Greyson’s family and their ability to debate. Debate anything. Seriously. Led, by a father who is an attorney, they had to rank everything. I would compliment dinner. They would ask me, “What was your favorite part of the meal?”  I would say, “Oh! I liked all of it. It was so delicious!” They would reply, “But, what was your favorite thing?” This would then result in everyone ranking their top three favorite side dishes and someone then vehemently defending why the green bean casserole beat the potatoes hands-down.

Greyson says my family on the other hand takes small-talk to a whole new level with politeness. These conversations are between sips of sweet tea because there is no wine with dinner. What would Jesus think? Or, more accurately, what would my Southern Baptist grandparents think? But, he calls us out on the underlying passive-aggressive tones passing between loved ones. I told him he just doesn’t know how to speak southern. Bless his heart.

I consider myself extremely lucky when it comes to in-laws. For some reason they can look past my faults like excessive chattiness, extreme vanity and Internet obsession and accept me into their family. I’d like you to meet two of Greyson’s family members I’ve never met. These are his grandparents, Herb and Llenie.

Greyson’s grandfather and father are Herbert Haywood. It’s where we got Henry’s name, Henry Haywood. I could recite each family story told to me about these two. Sadly, they each died a few months before Greyson and I met. He jokes that they got together in heaven and decided he needed to find the right girl and they brought us together. Every person in their family speaks of them with such infectious affection that I really feel like I knew them too.  It is a very strange thing to feel so connected to people I never met. They are part of my husband and helped make him the man that he is. When I get to heaven I know they will greet me as if I were one of their own. Add to that, they graciously handed down heirlooms to Greyson. One of which was the beautiful strand of pearls I got to wear when we got married.

We got this in the mail from Greyson’s Aunt Debbie this week.

Herbert Haywood’s ring, passed to Henry Haywood. Greyson said he could remember his grandfather wearing it. I tucked it away in my jewelry chest, thinking about when we would give it to him. At 18? His college graduation? I don’t know. I’m just proud my son will have this heirloom from heaven to be connected to loved ones he’s never met.

After my miserable, hormonal ranting about being 40 and ultimately 41 weeks pregnant I want everyone to know that I understand how blessed I am. Truly. Now that I am removed from the tearful haze and the discomfort of 40 weeks, I am counting my blessings.

Yesterday was World Prematurity Day. One in nine babies in the US is born too soon. Read more from the March of Dimes here. Ya’ll, that is a lot of babies. I bet you know children and adults who were and are preemies. Recently I have found myself praying and thanking God over and over that my son was more than 8 lbs. of squishy sweetness, I was able to nurse him in the delivery room and he was my little APGAR rock star. Both my children were born full-term and as anxious as I was for them to make their arrival, I am SO THANKFUL for healthy pregnancies.

Last year I told you about sweet little twins, Avery and Raegan, who were born at 25 weeks, 6 days. My friend Nicole is their mother and I am so blessed to know her. She is smart and brave and has seen her family through a rough year of more hospital stays for her son, Avery. Through Nicole I have learned about the strong parents and skilled medical professionals that are in NICU’s around the world. More than anything, I learned the strength a mother has for her children and it is inspiring.

Avery and Raegan, age 3

These little miracles have exciting news! Nicole is expecting again! My heart nearly burst when I heard the news and I left an overly-excited, rambling message on her voicemail.

Me and Nicole at the March For Babies this year

Doctors don’t know why some babies are born too soon, but through research, they are learning more. Please consider donating to the March of Dimes. My awesome family and friends donated in honor of Henry for his baby showers or “sprinkles” this year. Let me know if March of Dimes is a charity you support or if there is another charity for babies people should know more about. Give for all the expectant mothers and little miracles you know.

It’s only been three years. I tried to jog my memory and remember all of the nitty gritty I had forgotten about postpartum life and having a newborn. Our son arrived a week and two days ago and there are some notable similarities and differences from Baby #1 to Baby #2.

Ouch!– I had to describe to my first-time pregnant friend what it was like physically after giving birth. I was honest. “It’s like a crime scene down there.” I felt bad. I thought she was going to cry. Well, she should know. I wish I had.

Once again, I am wrecked yo.  But, it healed up up quick last time. I was good as new. I fully expect the same this time. Fortunately, I was aware that it would take 10 minutes to go to the bathroom every time these first couple of weeks, so I was ready. Allow for bathroom time, new mothers! You’re welcome.

I’ve been thankful for Dermaplast and perineal ice packs. Greyson even made a run to the specialty pharmacy to get more of the cold pads for me. I figured out why they only give you so many at the hospital. They are $4.00 a piece! The thing is, I would have paid more. You ladies understand.

I remember some after pains or cramping when nursing after Baby #1 was born. Oh my God! This time?! Insane! It felt like contractions again. Seriously. It died down after a couple of days, but good Lord! That’s when the nurse and my mom informed me, “Oh yeah, it’s much worse with subsequent babies.” Good to know. Take note, second-timers.

The Hospital and Recorded Feedings– With Baby #1, Greyson and I hung on to the doctors and nurses’ every words. We dutifully filled out their feeding chart with time and duration of each nursing session. We kept track of each bit of meconium and consulted the lactation consultant a ridiculous four times. We both loved our nurses and thanked them a hundred times. We looked at each other and thought, “Oh my God! They’re letting us leave here with an infant. What the hell are they thinking?”

This time we didn’t write down jack. I humored one nurse, by making up some numbers. I could just tell her feeding times. I refused to write them down and continue this ritual for two weeks! With Baby #1 for two weeks I went insane recording every feeding and poop in a cute little notebook. I set the timer on the old iPhone 3GS and recorded each one. Really?! No. Not this time. Granted, I enjoyed the little notes I wrote at the end of each day about my newborn daughter’s early days, but I think it made me go a little crazy to keep those types of records. I think some Type A, detail oriented mothers would love that, but it caused me too much anxiety. Sorry. Let’s just feed the kid and move on with life. So far so good with  Baby #2. I’m just feeding him while checking Twitter on my iPhone 5 this time.

We were generally annoyed and really ready to get out of the hospital, frankly. I think every baby in the county decided to be born the same day as our son. The staff seemed busy and frazzled. Paying a higher copay than last time didn’t help our moods. We were just generally irritated by the end of our hospital stay. We enjoyed all our sweet visitors, but it was time to go!

Snip- We didn’t know if this baby was a boy or a girl, so when we saw his kibbles and bits, we had to make a decision. A circumcision decision. I wanted to make sure I understood the pros and cons of circumcision and types of circumcisions. There are different kinds. Who knew? We didn’t. Baby #1 was a girl. How would we know?

I did some research on my phone and had extensive Twitter DM conversations with some of my boy mom blogger friends. I won’t tell you what we decided because that would be discussing my son’s genitals on the Internet. Poor kid. It’s bad enough his shameless mother discusses hers.

Milk and Weight Gain– The dairy is open for business, ya’ll! This kid came out an eater. In the delivery room he was rooting around and ready to go. The milk came in faster this time. Thank God. Colostrum wasn’t cutting it. This baby wanted milk. He was born 8 lbs. 2 oz. and left the hospital 7 lbs. 13 oz. He stayed 7 lbs. 13 oz. at his two day appointment.

I am not making this up. In five days the child was up to 8 lbs. 10 oz.! The doctor had to look at the chart twice. She thought it was a typo. I’m proud of my boobs. Not gonna lie.

I remember after Charlotte was born I really had to prepare my heart and my mind to write a birth story. I know that sounds like some sappy blogger stuff, but it’s true. Relaying the story and doing it justice is a big task. The same goes for Henry’s story. I’ll get there. It won’t be long.

We’re hunkered down here in newborn land. There are warm blankets, sweet visitors, casseroles and desserts. I’ve become reacquainted with Dermaplast, nursing tank tops and all the things that make the first few weeks postpartum so…um…unique.

Mostly we’ve spent the past five days understanding what it means to be a family of four. Here is a glimpse…

Our first family of four picture in the hospital.

 Oh, my heart! They meet!

Two hours home with a big sister and he has princess stickers on. I think she likes her brother.

His name is Henry.

He has downy black hair and round cheeks. He’s warm and soft when he lays on my chest in that floppy way only newborns can. His smell is intoxicating and lovely. He joined us November 6, 2013 at 9:53 pm. 8 lbs. and 2 oz. of perfection.

We are coming together as four. It’s a new era for us and it is wonderful. We are “Somebodies Parents”. There is much more to come. Welcome.