Oh dear God!  Is it Christmas yet?  I’m counting down the days until vacation, and even the thought of that is daunting since we have to pack to tote our baby nearly across the country.  Nevermind we have to find time to do Christmas with all the families.  It’s a blessing, no doubt, but a tiring blessing.

Meanwhile, Charlotte is moving up in the world.  She is no longer in the Older Infant class at her preschool, but in the Waddler room.  Apparently “Waddlers” are young Toddlers.  Not if I have anything to say about it.  I still have a baby, thank you very much.

Anyway, after her big transition week to the Waddler room, they had a Christmas gathering with the parents.  The tiniest tables you’ve ever seen were covered with paper declaring “Happy Holidays”.  The little ones sat in the subsequent tiniest chairs you’ve ever seen.

Before serving them snacks, all the children sat around the tables not touching the paper, except for Charlotte. She tore it up.

Included in the snacks were cupcakes cut in half.  All the other kids picked at their plates, naturally getting  a little glob of icing here or there, except for Charlotte.  She dove in.

Since she was born, Charlotte and I have taken naps on the couch at least a few times a week.  It was often the best time of my whole day after coming home from an exhausting morning shift.  She would snuggle on my chest and I would feel her breath rise and fall with such peace.  I would smell her baby scent and say prayers thanking God she is my child as I fell asleep.  It was our nap time.

One of the first times she fell asleep on my chest in November, 2010

Yesterday afternoon we settled in on the couch, but Charlotte was unsettled.  Clearly she was tired as she thrashed around and whined.  She just couldn’t get comfortable.  I knew she needed a nap so I took her up to rock her and put her in her crib.  We sat in the wooden rocking chair in her room like we’ve done hundreds of times before.  She wasn’t having it, so I just put her in the crib and she went right down.

Today it was the exact same thing.

And my heart broke.

Is she really barreling this fast toward toddlerhood and leaving me behind clinging to last of her babyness?  Does she not feel the same comfort being close to her Mama now that she’s bigger and she’s not nursing?Are all of our snuggling days over?

Then I got to thinking about it.  I mean, she is my child.  I didn’t like to be rocked.  I also don’t like to snuggle, except with Greyson and Charlotte.  I under NO circumstances like to be touched when I’m trying to sleep.  Just ask my sister who was forced to share a bed with me for a number of years.  Lord help the person who breathes on me when I am sleeping!

So maybe she just got that trait from me and I shouldn’t take it so personal.  I should just accept this new phase.  She’s growing up.

Or I could just wait until she’s extra super tired and try to snuggle again tomorrow.  He he!  Wish me luck!

I think it’s been 4 days since Charlotte last nursed.  She has rocked it teatless!  I think the day she turned 13 months was the first day of no boob.  She hasn’t had a bottle in a month.  Boo yah!  That’s my girl!  I’m so proud of her.  I feel like we timed it pretty good so she breastfed the full first year, but then didn’t go too long past that so that she would be able to “ask” for it.  She hasn’t missed a bottle except at school when all the other babies are drinking theirs.  Sorry kiddo, you turned 1 so Mama stopped washing bottles.  Charlotte’s slowly warming up to whole milk in a sippy cup.  Again, she’s been a rock star with all this.

Mama on the other hand is struggling a tad.

I’ve been consulting my home doctor and master diagnostician, the Internet.  I was quite sure for a few days that I had either Appendicitis, Diverticulitis, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, or some other abdominal affliction.  I don’t.  No one told me about the cramping when you’re weaning.  Thank you Twitter friends for giving me the heads up as I had flashbacks to labor pains.

The best thing about breastfeeding was the bonding with my baby and knowing she was getting the “good stuff.”

That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?  Yes, that was wonderful.  But if I’m being really honest, I loved breastfeeding because I could eat anything I wanted and not work out that much.  I mean, slipping into my jeans 1 week postpartum and eating pizza and cookies was amazing!  That alone made the entire year of pumping 3 times a day and nursing totally worth it.

Yeah, well.  That (literal) gravy train is over.  When I stopped pumping last month, naturally I got busty quickly.  Then I noticed my pants were a tad tighter.  This week, after the nursing stopped, I couldn’t button my jeans.  I can’t take my rings off.

I’m so puffy and bloaty and my baby is all grown up!  Waaahhhhh!

Alright, my weaning whining is done.  I’m off to the gym.

If we didn’t know it already, we know it now.  Our baby is a genius.

We think Charlotte is trying to speak Mandarin.  Last week we got home from school and Ginger came up and greeted her baby as Charlotte tried to squirm out of her car seat.  I said, “Ginger!”  She looks at me, looks at the dog, and says, “Jing jing!”  See.  Mandarin.  Well, the Chinese are taking over, it’s probably a good skill for her generation.

Last week was a big talking week.  She also said “Dada.”  Greyson of course reminded me this was before she said “Mama”.  Yeah, but he didn’t get this cool experience…

I walked into the Older Infants class at her school and found Charlotte lined up in a high chair with all her baby friends.  When Charlotte looked up and saw me, she excitedly turned to her classmate in the next high chair and said to her, plain as day, “Mama!”  It was like she was showing me off.  “Look!  That’s my Mama!  She’s here!”

That was worth the wait for her to say “Mama.”  It’s sort of how I feel everyday when I see her, “Look!  That’s my Baby!  She’s here!”