These two soaps don’t seem that different do they?  They are both placed at sinks in my house.  They are both, no doubt, chock full of Sodium Laureth Sulfate.  They both effectively clean hands.

According to my two-year-old, they are completely different and worthy of a complete meltdown.

Charlotte and I went to the bathroom sink to wash our hands after a potty-training session that resulted in no waste elimination. That’s okay.  I figured I would set a good example and wash our hands anyway.  Plus, I don’t want her to be that person that only washes their hands when someone else is in the public bathroom.  (Ew!)

I pumped a dollop of Soap #1 in her little, grubby hands.  It’s a delightful smelling, clear liquid soap.  She said, “Soap!  Soap!”  I said, “Sweetie, you have soap on your hands.  Rub them together and let’s count to 20!”  She screamed, “No! Soap, Mama!”  I pleaded with her to understand that she did, in fact, have soap on her hands.  I’m assuming because it’s near invisible soap and she couldn’t see it, she lost her freakin’ mind.

She thrashed out of my arms and ran through the house before putting her hands in her mouth and wiping soap in her eyes.  You know, the soap she swore she didn’t have on her hands.

I grabbed Soap #2 off the kitchen counter and took it into the bathroom.  After getting Soap #1 off her face, I pumped Soap #2, a foaming soap, into her hands.  She was delighted with the foam.  “Soap!  Soap on my hans!”

Okay, so she needs to SEE the soap.  Toddlers.  ::ooph::

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s child has misunderstandings like this.  At least it’s a clean misunderstanding.

We have had a wonderful extra-long weekend celebrating when the religious zealots who helped found our nation, dined with our land’s natives.  Ah, Thanksgiving!  Charlotte loved the Macy’s Parade and was very well behaved for a two-year-old shopping on Black Friday.

This weekend it became clear there is a new man in my daughter’s life.

Sure, Daddy is great and Elmo is fun.  But, my girl has been after a man of mystery.  You know the type.  He shows up once a  year, but leaves your head spinning a few months before, wondering if he’ll really be there this time.  Oh!  The wait is so worth it!

Anywhere we see a beard or red hat, we’re sure to hear “Sana Caas!!!”  We ask her, “Charlotte, who did you see at the Christmas parade?” “Sana Caas!!!  Sit on Sana Caas yap!”  Let me remind you I showed her a picture of her on Santa Claus’ lap ONCE!  This child has remembered and has not stopped talking about when she will sit on “Sana Caas yap.”

She and I braved the mall this weekend because, if I’m being honest, I love the hustle, bustle, and bargain shopping of the holiday season.  Charlotte saw Santa through the glass as we went down the elevator.  I saw the line.  Ugh!  But, it seems my girl has a way with the new man in her life.  Yep, we caught Santa on his way to the crapper.  He was kind enough to stop for a quick cell phone stroller shot with my girl.

She was thrilled with this Santa-sighting, but still wants to sit on his “yap.”  I guess we’ll have to wait in the line with everyone else.  She’ll realize we are just commoners who don’t really get one-on-one time with the season’s hottest celebrity.

When we ask her what she wants from Sana Caas?  She shouts, “A baby!” That’s when every set of eyes in the room move straight to my midsection.  It is no doubt all pooched out since I am no doubt eating pie or something.  That’s when, between mouthfuls, I explain that she wants a “baby doll” and that I am not pregnant.

Is it Christmas yet?

 

This is what I made when we had an impromptu family Play-Doh session this weekend. We rolled out a plastic table cover on the coffee table and played. This was, of course, while constantly working to convince our child she couldn’t eat the neon goop that is obviously salty and delicious.

I was excited for this family play session. I hoped to make it a learning opportunity too. My daughter and I discussed my sculpture. “What sound does the snake make? What color is it? Can you pick out the orange triangles on the snake? What about the pink dots?” All that was fine and she seemed to learn something.

But, she thought Daddy’s art was way cooler. The glasses were great, very creative. Of course they didn’t come until after he made the Play-Doh “poop” out of his hands, complete with sound effects.

Today was the coldest election I remember in a long time here in North Carolina.  Before work this morning we bundled up our girl and waited in a long line that wrapped around the local church that served as our precinct.  Charlotte was very good as she nibbled on Goldfish.  We bribed her with a sticker if she was tantrum-free as her parents did their civic duty.

I looked down at her and said, “Charlotte, who are you voting for?”  She paused for a moment, looked up from her snack and said, “Elmo.”  Greyson and I busted up laughing and promised to put him as a write-in.

Her support for her candidate didn’t waver all day.  This was the note outside her class.

I promise this is my last Sesame Street-themed post for awhile, this tale was just too good not to pass along.  Happy Election Day everyone!

 

 

This is Charlotte’s pumpkin. She is quite proud of it. She should be considering the epic toddler tantrum we endured to get it home. She says “My punkin!” whenever she sees it and “Bye-bye punkin!” while waving at our front stoop each morning. You can count on her announcing, “My punkin!” once more when we get home. She even showed it to Grandma via Facetime by using it as a chair. I figure if I were 22 lbs. I would think a pumpkin would be a great chair too.

 

As parents we are thrilled that she loved this gourd so much and we were hopeful this would mean she would be interested in some different fall foods this year. Every autumn I make Rachael Ray’s Pumpkin Sausage Pasta. Ya’ll, this stuff is amazeballs! It is perfect for nights when the weather starts getting cooler. Greyson always wanders up to the stove to smell the pot. I can always count on extra kitchen kisses and complements on my cooking. We couldn’t wait to share this recipe with our girl.

 

www.foodnetwork.comI cut up her serving in small bites and gave her a little extra parmesan cheese. She was skeptical when we sat her in the high chair, but she did warm up when she saw that her meal was being served on an Elmo plate. We sat at the table, said the blessing and started eating. We could tell Charlotte would need a little coaxing.

That’s when we said it.

“It’s pumpkin pasta! It’s made with pumpkin! Yummy!”

We might as well have stabbed Elmo right in front of her. Her lip trembled, and she screamed “No! My punkin!”

Oops.

We assured her that her pumpkin was still in tact. Greyson went outside to the front step and brought it in to show her. We may not make jack-o-lanterns this Halloween. I’ll leave the pumpkin out through Thanksgiving, but when Christmas decorations go up it has to go.

Who am I kidding? Any bets on if I’ll have garland around that “punkin?”