We have a shelf in Charlotte’s closet with all the week’s clothes laid out since Greyson is the one who gets her up and ready in the morning.
This was a recent conversation…
G: “Amy, it stresses me out when I see certain shoes laid out for that day.”
A: “What do you mean?”
G: “Some of those shoes are hard to get on, and then when you get them on she just takes them off. The stupid Velcro doesn’t stick on those white ones.”
A: “They’re cream.”
G: “Whatever, they don’t work.”
A: “Well, she has to have shoes.”
G: “No she doesn’t! She’s a baby! It’s not like she’s walking.”
A: “We can’t send her out without shoes! I’m not going to be the parent that lets their kid go to school with no shoes.”
G: “You make her sound like Huck Finn or something.”
A: “I thought it was Tom Sawyer who went to school with no shoes?”
G: {laughs} “Whatever. It doesn’t matter!”
A: “It does so matter. She needs to have a complete look with shoes and a hairbow. It makes her look well-kept and makes us look like good parents.”
G: “I love how you try to apply logic to the fact that you just want her to wear cute shoes.”
I love the Duggars. I love them. I know they’re all weirdly religious and wholesome to the point of nausea. I haven’t checked recent Census data, but if I had to guess, their family alone contributed to a population boom in Northwest Arkansas. But, I cannot turn away from that parade of homeschooled children in their button up shirts and long skirts. (I do wish they would cut their hair. I mean, I love Jesus too and I’m pretty sure he won’t mind if the girls freshen up those ‘dos.)
I have to hand it to the Duggars. I don’t agree with all of their extreme, conservative Christian views, but they stick to their principles and I respect that. People criticize them for being on TV all the time, but if I had that many mouths to feed I’d put my baby brigade on the big screen! No doubt the Duggar film would be rated “G.”
I was watching the latest episode of “19 Kids and Counting” where Anna Duggar delivers her son. She had a second home birth. More power to you Anna! I watched this woman go through 17 hours of labor to then deliver her child on the commode. (Hey, no judgement. I mean, he had to come out, right?)
Before I had a baby I would have been repulsed by this. Repulsed by the home birth, repulsed by the toilet thing, all of it. But, yesterday I sat there and cried. I cried at how bravely she brought that beautiful child into the world, flashing back to Charlotte’s arrival. I watched Anna’s relief and euphoria as she held her baby for the first time. Now I totally understand why people want to have more babies and bring more life into the world. Maybe not 19 lives, but you know what I mean.
“Poker”. Well, I had to get a word that rhymed with “smoker.” I guess I could have referenced the game Poker, since I don’t think “slow poker” is a word. But, whatever. That reaction is proof his mind is always in the gutter, and that’s one of a million things I love about him.
To get his first Father’s Day present, I sent Greyson on an “egg hunt” to get his Big Green Egg smoker. For the uninitiated, the Big Green Egg is the beacon (or is it bacon?) of grill/smoker combos that will light the cooker’s path to perfect meat tenderness. He had only hinted that this was his secret desire, but I hooked him up.
He had to work for it, though. Charlotte gave him the first little plastic Easter egg with clues to find his grill. I sent him to the dog, to a barista at the nearby Starbucks, and finally to the home of our friends/neighbors Dave and Trish. Greyson said I’ll do anything for my ‘Bucks fix.
The whole day was wonderful and exactly what he wanted. He asked to spend time with me and take Charlotte swimming. He gave ribs a try on his new smoker and they turned out pretty good! He wore his “King of the Grill” apron and I almost attacked him because it was so adorable as he passionately mixed hickory wood chips in the charcoal.
I kept flashing back to last year’s Father’s Day when he didn’t even realize the bag I had given him was a diaper bag. This year he repacked it like a pro as he toted our daughter along to watch baseball with the guys. He even took his Father’s Day beer koozie with him to show off his daughter’s fine art skills. They made them at daycare for the dads.
He drank a beer from his Koozie and said, “I love being a Dad!” I even questioned if they had smeared her footprint and Greyson became quite defensive of his Koozie. It was adorable!
Grey, I’m so proud to be your wife and the mother of our baby. You’ve transitioned into fatherhood with strength and good humor. I knew you would. You’re my best friend. I love you.
Charlotte and I went to the mall Friday night because I’m the kind of rock star who checks out sales at Gymboree on Friday nights. Charlotte was happily gnawing on her Sophie in the stroller while I may or may not have paid full price for the world’s cutest ladybug bathing suit at Baby Gap.
I was sipping a latte as we strolled through one boutique. I collected a pile of sundresses to try on. I was on a mission to find some for this summer that could contain the massive, milk-filled mamacitas that are my breasts these days.
That’s when I heard someone say, “Wow, someone is up late!” I turned to see a young clerk looking down at my baby. I looked at my phone. It was only 8:45pm.
But…BOOM! Instantly I felt like a terrible mother.
Image from www.housewifemom.com
I knew Charlotte had taken a long nap that afternoon and that she probably wouldn’t go down for awhile. I knew that I rarely get to spend evenings with my daughter because of my work schedule. I knew that finding the time to go shopping is hard as a new mother.
This girl knew none of this. I wondered if she was just a pissy mall employee, anxious for closing time. Maybe she meant nothing by her comment and I was being too sensitive, but I still thought it was unnecssary. I have often seen parents out with their children at very late hours and wondered why their kid wasn’t in bed, but I never vocalized that to the parent. Why? Because it’s none of my business.
I left the pile of dresses for her to put back on the rack and quickly wheeled my baby out of the store. She lost my business because she got in my business.
I tuned in to one of the 10-thousandth replays of the MTV Movie Awards this weekend. I heard there would be “World Exclusive Premieres” for both Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2, and Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. I really needed a fix for my addiction to teen literature so I watched for awhile.
It has been a long time since I watched anything on MTV. I used to watch the Movie Awards to see Alicia Silverstone, Jared Leto, and other celebrities high school freshman cared about in ’95-96. This time I watched Robert Pattinson go up for every ridiculous category.
Much like blogs, award shows are really self-indulgent silliness. Only one celebrity wow’d me during the show. I was SO excited to see Bryce Dallas Howard and to see that she was pregnant! She played Victoria in Twilight Saga: Eclipse and was accepting the award for “Best Fight”.
