My mom called me Wednesday last week after talking to my aunt. “Lana’s really sick,” she said. I pictured little Lana’s big, sparkling, blue eyes. My cousin’s daughter is just 18 months old and absolutely precious. Mom continued, “She was in the hospital with the flu. Now she’s back in the hospital with pneumonia. It’s bad.”
::pause::
Concern
Worry
Heartache
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| Lana and Charlotte meeting this fall when Charlotte was just 2 weeks old, and Lana was about 15 months. |
Greyson called me Thursday last week after dropping Charlotte off at daycare. “One of the teachers is really sick.” He went on to explain how Ms. K could barely talk and looked exhausted. Greyson asked, “Should we call the Principal? What’s their policy on sick teachers?”
::pause::
Questions
Uncertianty
Concern
We both agreed one of us would call the Principal. We were both very busy at work, but agreed it would be best to check in. I got a free moment about 30 minutes later. I said, “Hi, this is Amy, Charlotte’s mom. My husband and I were concerned because he said Ms. K really seems under the weather.” She said, “Yes, I just got off the phone with your husband. I told him our policy is the teacher goes home if she’s running a fever.”
::pause::
Embarrassment
Exasperation
Concern
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize he had called too. I’m sure that was overkill. I’m sorry to bother you,” I said. We were totally “those parents”. I felt stupid for us not communicating and deciding who would call. But, I couldn’t help but wonder about that policy. I mean, you can be sick as a dog without running a fever. I let it go. They are the childcare experts.
The Principal called me about 3 hours later as I was working to finish up at work. “Hi, I just wanted to let you know Charlotte is not taking her bottle and she’s running a fever of 100.3.”
::dash across the office to my boss::
Panic
Panic
Panic
I finished the call, “Thank you, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I looked up at my boss. “She’s running a fever,” I said, getting choked up. “It’s okay,” he said. “She’ll be fine, babies get fevers all the time. Just finish up and go,” he said. I blurted out, “But, she’s so little!”
::run back to my desk::
Dread
Anger
Guilt
I wrapped up some work very quickly. As I darted out the door I heard my co-workers saying, “Drive careful!” I called Greyson. Voicemail. I called again. Voicemail. Dammit!
I drove, picturing nothing but my ailing little baby. Nothing, nothing would keep me from my child. What happened? How did she get sick? Who made her sick? Why won’t Greyson answer the phone?
I called the doctor and made an appointment immediately. I texted Greyson. Yes, it is illegal to text someone while driving in North Carolina. Yeah, just let a cop try to pull me over as I’m trying to get to her. Just try. The test message did it. He called and said, “Dammit! I gave it to her.” He had been sick for close to a week. “What if the teacher got her sick?” I assured him she wouldn’t have caught it from the teacher just that morning and other babies in the class were sick. She probably caught it from them.
I walked into the class and scooped up my little sugar. She smiled.
::pause::
Relief
Relief
Relief
The doctor said it was a little virus and she was soon fever-free. After a day of rest, Charlotte was completely fine. Maybe it was all the worry over Lana, or maybe it was just the first sickness, but it was a terrible feeling. Lana is home from the hospital and on the mend. Everyone in my house is now healthy.
I just wonder if this will be how it feels every time she gets sick, or just the first time?
