The only time in my life I ever look for an elevator in the mall is when I’m shopping with my grandmother on Black Friday.  She hates escalators.  One year my sister and I forgot she gets faint on escalators and we hopped on.  Determined not to lose us in the department store, Grandma braved the crazy moving stairs.  Poor Grandma!  By the time we reached the second floor she was pale and dizzy.  We were terrible granddaughters and stifled giggles as we checked to make sure she was okay.

Now that I’ve started shopping with a stroller, I look for an elevator.  This week my friend Heather posted this on Facebook…

am I the only person that takes a stroller on escalators? people always look at me like I’m nuts. Trust me folks, I’m not gonna let him fall. And i’m not going to seek out the creepy smelly elevators in the back corner of the store or wait 10 minutes to get crammed in the one non-creepy glass elevator.

She told me how to wedge the wheels of the stroller and ride up.  I was still hesitant but, seriously, the next day the elevator at the mall was broken.  (3 days before Christmas?  Really?!)  I figure if Heather can do it, so can I.  I held my breath and put the front wheel of my Bumbleride Indie on the escalator and up we went.  I put my hand on Charlotte since we were on an incline, but she was strapped in.  Heather was right.  I totally got stank looks from people.  But, I was NOT walking all the way to the other end of the mall for an elevator that may or may not be working.

It’s like having a baby as opened my eyes to things I’ve never needed nor noticed before.  Never once have I looked for a wheelchair ramp…

Mom with Charlotte.

And like an oasis in the desert, this room appeared when Charlotte was at her hungriest…

Happy last-minute shopping.

I had to do it.  Well, I didn’t HAVE to.  But, I was not going BACK out after running errands all day long.  I was right there anyway.  I mean, what’s Christmas without a little spirit(s)?  Plus, it’s not like I could leave her in the car.  I’m not proud of it, but…

I took my baby to the liquor store.

Overheard in our house recently…

Me as I was getting the breast pump:  “The dairy is open for business!”

Greyson after feeding Charlotte for the first time (a few weeks ago): “It went really well.  You’re right Amy.  My nipples are really sore!”  

Me as I was watching an episode of 19 Kids and Counting when Michelle Dugger was sorting an entire freezer of frozen breast milk:  “I feel woefully inadequate.”  

I’ve had little talks with my daughter since she was born six weeks ago.  I promised her I’d never lie to her…except about Santa Claus.  (Sorry Kiddo.  I will lie about Santa.  I’ll swear he’s the real deal.  But, only until you’re about 9 or 10.  After that it’s just sad and I don’t want you to be that kid.)  I had high hopes for Charlotte’s first visit with the big guy.  One of my favorite local baby boutiques, Smart Momma, was having Santa at the store Sunday.  I figured this small store would spare us the long line of germy hands and croup around our newborn.  

1. The Believer-  This 5 to 8 year old kid means business.  He fights his way to the front of the line, paying no mind to the toddler he just knocked over to get there.  He loses his effing mind over Santa.  The threats from parents don’t scare him much because he’s learned over his past six Christmases that the stock room of Toys R Us still ends up in his living room even if he hit his sister the week before.  This child holds up the line explaining the exact size and color of the Zhu Zhu Pet he wants this year.  His parents nervously laugh as they ask him to wrap it up, glancing behind them at other impatient parents.  They have to remind him to thank Santa and give him a hug.  The kid takes off, barely pausing for a picture.  I mean, why be up there if you’re not rattling off your list?  
2. The Crier–  This -1 to 3 year old wants nothing to do with Santa.  She’ll look at her parents like they’ve sold her into slavery when they put her on his lap.  She’ll wail like someone is shoving bamboo shoots under her fingernails.  This child has forgotten all about the Elmo doll and Yo Gabba Gabba DVD she wanted as she rehearsed with her parents what she would say to Santa while standing in line.  That is, if she even has the language skills to express this.  Her desperate parents actually say “Smile!” over the screams.  They give up, quickly getting a picture as the crocodile tears flow.  
3. The Sleeper–  The parents of the sleeper unnecessarily dress up their little baby in a festive holiday outfit they already had to wash twice since she spit up on it the other times they tried to get her out the door to meet Santa.  These parents think they’ve timed it right.  They think, “She’s fed (and spit-up), she’s changed, she’ll sleep in the car seat and then wake up for Santa.”  They’re right.  They get her out of the seat and she wakes up.  She looks adorable.  All the other parents look longingly at the sweet little one, remembering when their Believer and Crier were that age.  Her new parents proudly hold her and answer questions about how long she’s sleeping at night.  But, the time of awake cuteness is limited.  The clock ticks away as the Sleeper gets a little fussier and the parents give her a paci.  Inevitably the Sleeper is out cold by the time she’s next in line.  

Guess which one Charlotte was?

She smiled at me!  She smiled!  It wasn’t gas.  It wasn’t the funny baby faces that kind of look like smiles.  She’s been doing that.  But, a full on smile.  I heard it was supposed to happen around 6 weeks.  

Ginger, Charlotte, and my feet on the couch after “the smile.”