It seems stupid, but lately it has amazed me that there are the exact same number of seconds in each day. Time is so relative, so precious. The evidence is right here on my blog. My life has been so busy that this space has been neglected in recent weeks after I saved it from near death.

Some days I collapse in the bed with knots in my back, knowing I can’t get everything done I need to do in 24 hours. Work, house, parenting, being a spouse, being a friend and writing a blog. It never gets all done.

The relevance of time was never so apparent to me than when I was recently talking to a stay-at-home mom who’s child will start kindergarten in a few months. We were discussing the start of school and where her child would be attending. She said, “It is just SUCH a long day for them!” (meaning the kids)

::blink::

I just stared at her.

Huh? Long day? I nervously laughed an said, “Um, yeah. Sometimes Charlotte gets to daycare at 7:15am or 7:30am and I can’t pick her up until almost 6:00pm.” My voice was filled with guilt mixed with bitterness toward her comment. Both of which were uncalled for. She meant nothing by her comment. It was my own insecurities coming out.

This was the class sign in sheet one day this week:

A few days before I was driving by an elementary school on my way to a client meeting. It was about 3:00pm when school let out. I thought about the future, “God, what are my kids going to do after school until we’re done with work? That’s a long time.”  See, time is relative.

It’s hard working and parenting. It’s also hard being with a little one all day. That’s not news to anyone. Her comment just caught me off guard. She went on to talk about how she needed some “down time” from her responsibilities at home.

Huh? I guess I think of my “down time” as the few hours I get to bathe, feed and play with my child. Then I get to sneak in some husband time and personal time.

Here’s the thing. I don’t know which one is better, working or being at home. It’s all about time. I just hope we all get the precious time we need.

On Father’s Day we had a great time celebrating our favorite guy. We were on the road heading to the Farmer’s Market so Greyson could pick out his favorite veggies and meat to grill. Charlotte loves her Daddy and does what he does. A car pulled out in front of us. He yelled, “What are you doing, douche!?!?”

Sure enough, out of this precious little face we heard the words, “What are you doing, douche!?!?”

Aw! Just like her Daddy.

Meet my little cousin, Bryan.

He’s the baby of the family. I use the terms “little” and “baby” loosely as this kid is like 6’5” and has to wear at least a size 13 shoe. He graduated high school this week. I’ve been looking at the graduation announcement with his Senior picture on my refrigerator in amazement the last few weeks.

Bryan and I are not particularly close. How could we be? There is a big age gap between the two of us. I am nearly 14 years older than he is and was preparing to go to high school when he was born. I was the first grandchild. He was the ninth. We are the bookends of our generation, just as our mothers were before us.

That’s me on the top row, far right at age 19. I was a sophomore in college. Bryan is the little boy on the floor in the center. He had to be about 5. Yes, we’re wearing matching outfits. Greyson says we look like a cult family in this picture. I keep it up in the house. It makes me smile.

For  me, Bryan has always been a marker of time.

I watched him as a baby through teenage eyes, thinking he was cute, but little else. I rarely thought of anyone but myself as a college student and young adult, so his childhood comes to me in flashes of Christmas presents and brief memories of a little boy playing backyard football. When he was a kid, he always made me laugh because I could tell he could care less about talking to me about anything. He would say things like, “Is Greyson here?” I would laugh and point to Greyson. They could talk sports. I always asked him about dorky stuff like school.

He was always a good kid. As far as I know he never told anyone about the time I was hammered drunk at another cousin’s wedding.  In my stupor I offered Bryan, who was 11 or 12-years-old at the time, a sip of champagne. He turned it down. Like I said, he’s a good kid.

The summer after I graduated high school seems like so long ago. I’m not equipped to give advice. Besides, I wouldn’t want him to take advice from me. I think the journey has changed. It will certainly be different for him than it was for the rest of us. Our little  cousin has a scholarship to play Division I baseball.  Greyson has been watching the College World Series preliminary games all weekend. These guys look like young men, not like my little cousin. It’s amazing to me that next year he will be on the field with them. I speak for the rest of the family when I say we couldn’t be prouder.

I’m not sure he will ever understand what it means for our family to see him graduate and leave home. He is the last, and he has done well.

Congratulations Bryan! I wish you all the joy in the world as you head out into the world. We can’t wait to see what you become.

Today we got another glimpse of our darling little 2.0 for the “big” ultrasound. You know, the one where everyone finds out if it’s a girl or a boy. We made it clear to the ultrasound tech that we did not want to know the gender of the baby. We want to be surprised! I threatened Greyson’s life if he peeked at the screen, as if we could decipher those black and white smudges, anyway.

We did notice one thing when she zoomed in on the baby’s face. I said, “Whoa! Our kid looks like Lord Voldemort!” I can understand it. Daddy is a Slytherin for sure. 

I love it. A badass already. We’ll call it “It-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

 (I’m a Gryffindor. Not like everyone says they are. I mean, I really am. I have the online quizzes and heart of a lion to prove it. )

Dear Governor Bryant,

I bet you’ve had a weird day, today.  Were your PR and Communications team running around like mad men? I bet their mouths dropped open and they whipped out their Blackberries during that Washington Post Live event. They hoped their calls, texts and Tweets were the extinguisher to put out the firestorm you started.  How many reporters have called your office for comment and response since then? I would wager to guess at least some of your staff are still at the office in crisis mode tonight.  The local news media in Jackson is probably swamped covering this story and getting reaction for the evening and night news.  I wonder how busy they are at the Mississippi Republican Party headquarters?

You knew what you were doing when you said it.  You knew it!  The event was focused on improving children’s literacy by the third grade.  The moderator asked you how American education had “become so mediocre.”

Your response? “I think both parents started working. And the mom is in the work place.”

Your backpedaling began immediately.  You went on to recognize you would get a ton of emails about this, knowing it was a controversial statement and would likely offend millions of working mothers and their families.  In your defense, during the backpedaling you did say that US students were behind other countries because they invest more in education.  Okay, I agree with you there.  That could be a good explanation.

Your statement meant journalists and fact checkers went into overdrive today too.  This ABC News report cites statistics from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development and the National Center for Education Statistics.  The OECD finds 67% of US mothers with children under 15 work outside the home.  The NCES states that 77% of Finnish mothers work outside the home, but Finland ranks higher in reading than American students.
Sounds like you were right with your backpedaling, Governor.  I also heard your wife worked outside the home for decades, even while raising your kids.  I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Huh?”

Governor, my heart is with all the working PR, communications, news media and political advisors that are working overtime tonight because you said something so ridiculous.  I have to imagine a number of them are working mothers and not able to be home tonight with their children.

Sounds like you are contributing to the mediocrity of those children because their mothers aren’t at home.  Way to go.

For the record, I wrote this after my child went to bed.  Fingers crossed, my working after hours won’t make her fall further behind the Finnish.

Sincerely,

Amy