WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS EXTREME BATHROOM DISCUSSION. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE POOP, GET OFF THE CRAPPER!
I know kids don’t usually go to Kindergarten crapping their pants. I also know kids don’t move into a college dorm still wetting the bed. Well, they might. That would be a time to talk about drinking in moderation. But, I’m starting to think I started my daughter potty training too early.
We followed the pediatrician’s advice to buy a potty for a little girl when she turns 18 months. We did. We talked about the potty. We brushed her teeth on the potty. She pushed the buttons on the potty that made funny noises. She thought the potty was great
When she turned 2 in November we bought Pull-Ups and she was delighted. She didn’t want diapers anymore. She was psyched.
After the holidays, when Santa brought panties, it was on like Donky Kong. Potty training. Boo yah! She wears panties at school except for her nap. At home we try to keep panties on until it’s time for bed. When we go somewhere, though, it’s back in a Pull-Up.
Number one is usually not a problem. Number two. Ugh! Still a battle EVERYDAY! I feel like I’m always dumping little turds from Minnie Mouse underpants into the commode. I lead a glamorous life, lemme tell ya.
We’ve tried the “one M&M for pee and two for poop.” We’ve tried the “one sticker on the chart for pee and two for poop.” We’ve caved in to poor parenting tactics and bribed her with toys. She has only pooped on toilet a handful of times and it was really just good timing on our part because we detected a pre-poop fart and ran her in the bathroom.
I’ve heard of 3 1/2 year-olds who still won’t take a crap unless it’s in their Pull-Up or diaper. I don’t want that to happen to us. I know she can do it, she just doesn’t want to stop playing long enough to go.
What am I doing wrong here? Should I ditch the Pull-Up for naptime and bedtime too, and hope when she wakes in her own filth she’ll get the picture? That seems cruel and like something they would do to prisoners in captivity, you know?
Where are we going wrong? Should we have just done the extreme roll-up-the-rug-and-let-them-run-naked method? Is she just too young? What did you do?
Friday night when I got home after an exhausting week of ups and downs I got the sweetest little gift. I got home before Greyson and Charlotte who had stopped at the grocery store to get dinner. In walked my girl with a gift for Mama.
She was so proud handing over those Gerbera Daisies. She giggled, “You like ’em Mama?” In her two-year-old enthusiasm she was adorably too rough with the delicate petals as we smelled them. The best part? She picked them out herself. Greyson said that of all the flowers in the store, pink Gerbera Daisies were the flowers she picked for me.
The first time I bought flowers for my daughter she was just six months old and the infant class at her school was planting a flower garden. Of all the flowers at the Farmers’ Market I picked little Gerbera daisies. They were our centerpiece the day Charlotte was dedicated at church.
Until I had Charlotte I had never paid much attention to this flower. I think there is a reason the Gerbera daisy keeps popping up in our lives. It’s bright and sprightly. It’s colorful and strong. It’s her. It’s her flower.
We had to celebrate tonight with a little treat. We had to celebrate because those little thingys in the hospital that they put on Greyson’s chest made him psychic! Freakin’ psychic, ya’ll!
It’s the weirdest thing. This morning he says to me, “Amy, today is the day we’re going to get an offer on the house.” I got to work and joked with a coworker who told me to keep my phone close, just in case. One hour later Greyson called me to tell me to check my email. Offer! We got home after another showing. Second offer! Woo hoo!
Now we’re playing that brutally delicate game of counter-offering. The reality that we will have to eventually find somewhere else to leave is creeping up on me.
But, for now we’re celebrating because Greyson is feeling better and went back to work today. Thank you all so much for your kind words and well wishes! Things are looking up this week! I think Charlotte sums up my feelings here…
You know when you get one of those phone calls, one that you don’t expect and definitely don’t want? Yeah, I got one today. I was on the way to work after dropping Charlotte off at daycare. Greyson called. When I saw the phone I assumed it was something about the house or the dog, maybe a reminder that I was picking Charlotte up this afternoon. Nope.
He said, “Hey, listen. I’m having really bad chest pains and I feel really lightheaded. I’m going to call 911.”
What? This is a man who in the 9 years I have known him has had a flu-like illness twice, a handful of colds he gets over within 3 days and a 12 hour stomach bug. I knew it had to be serious. The numbers 9-1-1 came out of his mouth.
I turned the corner, headed home and called work. I walked in the door and saw my husband hooked up to an EKG machine and two EMT’s with him. He was so pale. His EKG was normal but the paramedics recommended he go to the hospital.
This was how we spent our day.
I watched the man I love lay pale and exhausted in a little hospital bed. I laid my head on his shoulder and we watched some Netflix on his phone to kill the time between blood work and heart stress tests. I said little prayers and touched his forehead and face.
Hours later it was all okay. He was released and told to follow up with his physician next week. They don’t know what caused his chest pains. A “cardiac event” or a muscular thing? They aren’t sure.
Regardless, it scared us. It scared us into making some changes. The last time we left that hospital we had our newborn baby in tow. That is the only reason we want to go back there.
It’s been busy for us. Work. Putting the house on the market. Everything. This makes me stop. Every time I watch it I get all glowy and my heart swells up. Charlotte learned “You Are My Sunshine” at school and regales us with it often. I can’t get enough of how she says “shunshine.”
You are our light, sweet girl. We love your song.
We’ll be gone a few days. Greyson and I are taking off on a little trip. I’m so excited I could burst. We’re basically making my geek pilgrimage to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I promise to Instagram, Vine and Tweet my way through. I also promise to wear my Time Turner necklace. Yep, I have one haters. Don’t hate. See you soon!
