Wait? What?! – June 7, 2010
Remember this guy from Oprah? Rabbi Shmuley. He had that show “Shalom in the Home.”
All over the Internet today in the blog world and elsewhere I’ve read this article. (It’s two pages, not that long. Check it out real quick.)
Okay. I know from lots of responses on other blogs that many women are OUTRAGED by this.
I myself just feel this adds to more anxiety for pregnant women like me who are facing decisions about child birth and breastfeeding.
So old moms, new moms, please, what’s your opinion on this? Comments?
I just think La Leche is gonna be so pissed about this.
Spread it around:
WOW! I don't even really know how to respond! I am angry, confused and frustrated! How dare he? He doesn't understand the purpose of the woman's bottle from the beginning. He is ignorant and rude! Our bodies are not "sex machines" and can still be deemed as "sexy" even though we are breastfeeding or delivered a child! Are you kidding me? Seriously! What is wrong with this man? I have to read it again because I just had certain parts stick out to me and make me angry. Very, very angry! Amy, don't you worrry… Greyson loves you, will always love you regardless of what you do and what your body does. This man has a serious problem! One that should not be even shown to the public… through ridiculous ignorant comments presented in the article.
Can't really think what to say, exactly, except that was quite the opinion from Shmuley. Words fail me.
Wow!! I'm not even sure what to think. I mean, having a child, no matter if the spouse sees the birth, sees you breastfeed, etc., changes your relationship. I also think the couple he used as an example might be an extreme side of things. Not all moms nurse that long (some do it longer), not all parents sleep with the baby in the bed or room. You don't have to choose that kind of parenting style. I don't disagree with that parenting style, I just think it is up to each couple to find a style of parenting that works for them in all areas of their relationship. If nursing bothered the husband in this article, that should have been communicated earlier and the wife should have been open to doing what was needed to continue parenting the way she wanted (nursing her child) and keeping a strong relationship with her husband.
I don't really have any advice – I just think if you and Greyson have a strong relationship (which I can tell you do) then you can discuss these things before Baby arrives and even afterwards. I can tell that you both support one another and you will be able to discuss things that concern you – but I do agree that having a child changes your relationship – it just doesn't have to be for the worse. I can honestly say there have been a few rough moments but we openly talk about it, find ways to fix it, and things are great again.
I know that probably didn't help any, but thank you for sharing this article. I am still a little dumbfounded by the whole thing…
-Jamie Nuss
Wow, I'd like to smack that man in his overly hairy face. Having a baby definitely changes a marriage. But not necessarily in a bad way. I struggled with breastfeeding and ended up pumping for 5 months because we never could work out nursing. So this jerk thinks that keeping our husbands sexually satisfied for that first year after baby is more important than giving our kids a healthy start in life?! I agree that breastfeeding can be difficult and overwhelming – I had major mom-guilt issues. But it's something you work through with your husband.
We've hit some rough patches. There are ups and downs after the baby is born. There are times you will just sit down in the floor and cry. Or at least I did. But all that pales in comparison to the joy of seeing this little being that you and your husband created together. Seeing her first smile. And then she'll say "mama". And then she'll start crawling/walking, etc. And then she'll say "No mama, I do it!" And then… ok I haven't gotten past that part yet. But it just gets better and better.
Like Jamie said – do what works for you in terms of sleeping arrangements, nursing, etc. We moved Travis into his own room after about 2 weeks. We've never let him sleep in our bed. He was a great sleeper from the beginning so it was never really an issue. Who knows what we'll do with baby #2. We'll figure it out as we go!
Ok, I think I've said enough. This guy is a nut. And he doesn't have boobs or a vagina, so he can suck an egg when it comes to breastfeeding and birthing a child. That was immature, but I feel better after saying it
It's your body, your baby, and your decisions!
Glad to see I'm not the only one who reacted this way to the article…
I have to vehemently disagree with the majority of what he had to share. Particularly this:
"When a husband ceases to see his wife as a woman, and begins to see her as "the mother of his children," a negative trend has begun in his mind that can only subvert his erotic interest."
Ask my hubby any day and the one thing that turns him on the most and makes him most proud is knowing that I am the mother of his children.
The Rabbi should note that in any healthy marriage, the husband must absolutely regard his wife as more than just his sexual drinking well. We serve a much greater purpose in our role as wife and he seems to be missing that.
Interesting read, though.
ps, Moms are tired and exhausted during their baby's first year whether they nurse or not. His logic is so completely flawed.