Keep it to yourself! – September 29, 2010
One month until our due date. (Good LORD! Where has the time gone?!) I’m getting more uncomfortable. I hear constantly, “You’re so small!” Which is extremely flattering, but it makes me worry. The doctor says I’m measuring fine and to not let those comments bother me.
Those comments don’t bother me. But, there are a lot that do. Some days I’m not sure I’m gonna make it another month. Not because I feel physically sick, but because anger may cause me to go into pre-term labor. White, blinding anger at people I don’t know, and some I do.
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| See, look how happy I am when people aren’t weird. |
1. Someone actually said to me, “You haven’t dropped yet. When are you going to drop?” I wasn’t sure how to respond to this considering this person was asking me about the proximity of my uterus to my cervix AT WORK! I don’t talk about my cervix anywhere, not even on my blog, but I sure as hell don’t talk about it AT WORK!
2. A man I know proceeded to tell me to advise my husband not to look “down there” during labor because it’s his “favorite area” and it could be traumatizing. I politely thanked him and walked away as soon as possible. I think he was just trying to be funny, but still.
3. At a department store at the mall a clerk asked if I needed help. I asked her where maternity clothes were. She told me when another customer, a total stranger mind you, interrupted and said, “Are you having a girl?” I told her I was. She said, “I can always tell! I always know because I have three boys. I can tell because you’re carrying small and wide…blah, blah, blah…”
Now, this lady did not know I had heard the aforementioned comments, nor that I had been awake since 2:30am. (I work the early shift these days.) But, I just looked at her and said “My doctor says that’s a load.” I then turned around and walked away. I know that’s not polite, but frankly, I’m so sick of hearing weird comments. I’ve never said anything to a pregnant woman ever about how she was carrying, high, low, whatever. Partly because my OB/GYN says those are all old wives tales and don’t mean anything. But, mostly because it’s just a weird, stupid thing to say in general.
4. After that I went to the grocery store. I just needed to pick up dinner. I wasn’t looking to have another awkward incident to write about in this post. The guy at the fish counter was helping me asked all the usual questions that I don’t mind at all. “When are you due?” “Is it your first?” “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” etc. When I told him it was a girl and indeed our first he said to me “Oh good, then you can try again for a boy.”
What?! Are you effing kidding me? So my daughter isn’t good enough for you? Basically sir, you just insulted my whole gender. Nice. I didn’t say anything. I just politely smiled and thanked him for my salmon filets.
Members of the American public, just because a woman is pregnant, it doesn’t mean she needs your comments or advice. Please try and remember that for the next month. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.
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First of all, you look great! And I have to agree that you do look so tiny, but that's good for you! Some women are that lucky! It's definitely nothing to worry about.
Secondly, WOW! What a day. I feel for you on this one. People are so awful sometimes. Boundaries, folks. Learn 'em!
the comments get even dumber and more inconsiderate if you have 2 kids of the same gender. people just expect that you are disappointed and that you'll keep trying until you get the other.
Wow, I got really mad too ha ha. Especially at number 2, that is so incredibly offensive. Well, good luck I'm impressed you were as polite as you were!
I don't remember getting quite so much crap in one day, but it is irritating. I constantly got a lot of crap about how "small" I was with my last pregnancy– that I needed to eat, etc. Some people even swore to me that I was NOT PREGNANT. It's started again with this baby. Drives me nuts. I can't count how many people came to me when I was pregnant with Will, saying, that's going to be a tiny baby, you need to eat more. Homeboy weighed 7lbs 15 oz. He was totally normal. More to the point, I gained the recommended 30 lbs. I just carry babies well and you obviously do too. I'm getting mean early in this pregnancy so I think by the time by third trimester rolls around, I'll be just crazy enough to start putting people in their places regarding the peanut gallery. Correcting the problems of the pregnant world, one asshole at a time.
I'm SOOO with you Amy! I don't say anything to pregnant women about their pregnancy unless they say something first and even then, not having been pregnant before, I just kind of nod and smile. I have no expertise in it and certainly don't want to come off like an idiot jackass.
One more thing regarding comment #2, then I'll see what kind of tranquilizers are safe for pregnant women to take. After what we go through during pregnancy, I think every man needs a good look at the mother of his baby's "area" during delivery. I keep thinking about what native NYCers say to tourists: This is a working city, not just an amusement park.
I feel your pain! I hate how people feel like they can just say whatever they want to pregnant people. My mother in law even said to me that she hopes our next child is a boy (we're having a girl). I was seriously stunned as I think that whole concept of having to have a boy and a girl to have a complete family is stupid. Ugh. And it's funny the things people think about how you carry. I started showing really early and apparently that meant I was having a boy. Which I am not. Ugh, People!
Wow. You are much nicer than me. I am actually wanting to put off telling my husband's huuuge extended family for as long as possible because they will make some dumbass comments (his sister has already started) and I do not play nice. And the first time they try to say something about hormones making me do smoething they will not be hearing nice things back.
What is WRONG with people? I don't get what about being pregnant makes people open their mouths and say things they wouldn't normally. And guess what? It doesn't end when the baby comes! Sucky, huh? "He should be wearing a hat" "He's too young to be out!" blah blah blah.
I only wish it could say that is gets better after the baby is born, but it doesn't. People then feel free to touch, pinch or kiss your baby – even when sleeping. They also love to give unsolicited advice on everything that you are doing wrong.
You are looking cute!
First of all, I am so sorry that I commented a couple of times on how small you are. I should've thought about how that wouldn't necessarily be the best compliment. I think you look great & that baby is going to be beautiful & healthy & everything is going to be great!
Now…omg people are being crazy to you!!! My husband watched the whole birth in all its glory & he is just fine. I promise for most men, it's not traumatizing – it's their child coming into the world!! But either way – what a thing for someone – particularly a man who is not your husband – to bring up. GROSS. And all these strangers need to mind their own business. Annoying!