Poo Faux Pas- November 15, 2010
Well, it only took me about a week into motherhood to have my first major parenting snafu. I’ve learned poop is a big part of a newborn’s life, and thus a big part of new parents’ lives too. I’ve gotten over any poop hang-ups I used to have. We made it past the alien black tar of meconium and eased into what Greyson calls “pumpkin pie filling.” This poor child, her mama is already discussing her bowel movements on the Internet. Sorry Kiddo, it gets worse. This is my confession…
One day last week Erin was going to bring little Josh by for a visit. Her parents and grandmother were in town from Massachusetts and they were out walking the neighborhood. They are the sweetest people and so kind to want to meet my baby. It was getting close to time to change and feed Charlotte, but she was still sleeping so I thought we were fine. You feel the impending doom? They all come in, I introduce Charlotte to Erin’s family as she slept innocently in her bouncy seat. I said, “Oh, I forgot to put in her hair bow!” Erin laughs, remembering all the pictures on Facebook of my child and her little bows. They tell me how beautiful my baby is as I look down and notice something on her face. Fortunately they were attending to Josh and I kneeled down for a closer look.
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| A hair bow on a cleaner day in the bouncy seat. (Look how big her socks are. Ha!) |
My heart skipped a beat. Pumpkin pie filling was leaking into her bouncy seat. “Eww!” I heard from Erin’s dad, and they all laughed with sympathetic smiles. Having dealt with a newborn in recent weeks, they understood a soiled bouncy seat. But, I knew the full extent of the problem. I prayed they didn’t see what I saw. Her little hand had gotten down in the poop and then she had touched her face! A HAIR BOW AMY?! You’re worried about a hair bow before people come over, nevermind the POOP ON YOUR BABY’S FACE!!!! I scooped up the seat and carried her into the bedroom. Had it just been Erin and I, I’m sure we would’ve gotten a good laugh, but I didn’t want her parents to know what had happened.
We had just finished the diapers from the hospital. They were “Pampers Swaddlers New Baby Size Newborn.” She leaked because I had put a Size 1 diaper on her instead of a Newborn diaper. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO MAKE THAT MORE CLEAR! Size 1, you’d think that’s first. They both say “Pampers Swaddlers New Baby” in very similar packages. One just says “Newborn” and the other “Size 1”. I plan to complain to Pampers.
I got her cleaned up and we finished our visit. As soon as they left I frantically called the pediatrician’s help line. The nurse on the phone stifled her laughs as I told her my story. She told me everything was probably okay, but to just keep an eye on her eye to make sure no poop had gotten in it. She giggled again and said, “Hey, listen. You’re doing fine. I’m sure your baby is fine.”
It took two washes to get the seat clean. Erin’s dad now calls poop leaking out of a diaper a “Charlotte.” At least poop on the face isn’t a “Charlotte.” Poor baby! Mother-of-the-year right here, folks.
Spread it around:
I can top that. I remember the curdly breastmilk poopies and I changed Will's diaper one time, washed my hands and then looked down an hour later to see a big blob of poop on my thumbnail. I don't know how it resisted the handwashing. This will remain a mystery for years to come.
One day, Amy, you realize that chances are pretty good that someone has probably just eaten their own poop. Actually, my oldest never did that, so you might get lucky but I know for a fact that it's really possible that number two and number three might have gotten some of their own number 2 in their mouths.
Amy when we left your place my family reminisced about embarrassing poop stories…one of which landed me the nickname "Poop-a-doops" which my dad still calls me today
My uncle had just painted the walls in his house and I was over for a visit…the crib was a little too close to the wall and apparently I must have gotten bored because I decided to "poo poo paint" all over it 
No worries I am sure Josh will have a surprise for us when you visit one day.
Ha ha ha! And I love that you called the doctor about it–the story probably made the nurse's day.