Boobs, bottles, and blogs- January 12, 2011
The breast-bottle debate has bogged our blogosphere for some time. But, I have to weigh in after I read something that made me SO MAD!
My sister grew up with Lauren. Lauren just had an adorable little boy named Camden just after Charlotte was born. Lauren wrote on her blog about a woman in line with her at Walmart who saw baby formula in her cart. She asked Lauren, “Are you really not breastfeeding?” EXCUSE ME?! Who does this lady think she is?! (I had a million flashbacks to the string of weird comments I experienced while innocently making my pregnant way around our city.) Why would this person feel the need to say something like that to a young, sleep deprived, new mama?! Did she not stop to think that maybe the pediatrician recommended this for her child?! Lauren was supplementing her breast milk to help Camden gain weight. Some times breastfeeding isn’t what works for some mothers and babies. That’s okay. Hello!? That’s why they make formula. Oh, and by-the-way lady, it’s baby formula. It’s not poison.
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| If you see a baby with this bottle, speak up. Otherwise, shut it! |
Right now, I’m an exclusive breastfeeding mom. I would never make another mom feel bad because she uses formula. I’m not a better mom than her for breastfeeding. If I’m being really honest about it, I breastfeed for 4 reasons:
- I’m lazy: Sanitizing bottles and mixing formula, uuggghh! That’s so much effort! I really need my precious time to fool around on the Internet. Pumping milk is bad enough. I can’t be bothered with measuring out formula too. It’s much easier to just be like, “Here kid, have a boob.”
- I’m vain: The doctor said it would help me lose weight. She was right! Boo Yah! And, here I thought I was gonna have to do P90X after the baby was born. Uggh! P90X! That’s so much effort! (See above L-A-Z-Y.)
- I have a lousy immune system: Remember that kid in Elementary school who got perfect attendance awards at the end of the school year? Yeah, that was never me. I caught every cold and every bout of Strep Throat that went around. I took Amoxicillin like Flintstones Vitamins. Maybe I should have had more Barneys and Dinos. My mom said breastfeeding the first 7 months of my life was good for me and helped keep me from getting sick. I hope Charlotte didn’t inherit my immune system. I’ve read evidence breastfeeding can help keep a baby from getting sick, but formula babies are getting plenty of vitamins too.
- I’m lucky: Yeah, that’s right. Just lucky. I’m lucky my baby is a good little booby eater. Latching and let-down has gone okay so far, aside from some early cracking and bleeding. That healed up, and now we’re doing fine.
Spread it around:
OMG. OMG. OMG. I wish I knew who that lady was. I'd like to drive to her house and punch her in her face. I'll apologize in advance for using your blog to vent my own anger. I do have my own blog, but I'm here I need to say it now!
I struggled and failed to breastfeed my first son. He was tongue tied. I was also forced to give him formula in the hospital because he lost too much weight. So I pumped for 5 months. Then my husband took the pump away because I cried looking at it or talking about it. I barely had a supply left at that point anyway. Thankfully my second son came out looking for a boob and we had no issues. Until he hit 6 weeks when I started supplementing at bedtime with a few ounces of formula so he'd sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. The kid is huge. He was over 9 pounds at birth and now is over 22 pounds at 6.5 months. He eats A LOT. By the end of the day I don't have enough milk to satisfy his fat little body. But my point… the fear and guilt that the crazy ass breastfeeding teacher, a few overly opinionated acquaintances, and some bitchy lactation nazis put in me has forever screwed up my brain into thinking that I'm a failure for (1) not being able to breastfeed my first son (2) giving up the pump after 5 months with my first son (3) supplementing my second son with 4 ounces of formula at night so I could get some sleep. I hide formula in my cart when I have to buy it. I hide the can in my house so no one sees it. The thought has actually crossed my mind that I don't want the neighbors to see in my windows at night and see me shaking up a bottle and think "Oh what a bad mom feeding that baby formula." Yes, I'm serious. I know I'm nuts, but I can't help it. I don't judge other moms for using formula. Only myself. There are millions of healthy, happy, formula fed babies out there. I do think everyone should at least try breastfeeding. But beyond that, it is every mother's choice. And no one should be made to feel guilty. Yes, breastfeeding is best. But formula is not toxic! I'm so sad for all the mothers (myself included) beaten up over needing/choosing to use any amount of formula.
…deep breaths. My rant is over. I feel better. Again, I apologize. But I still want to punch that woman in her face.
Jennifer Warthan sent me over to read this because she enjoyed your post so much. Bravo! I wish you could see me, I am slow golf clapping to my computer screen! Mastitis put an end to my breastfeeding my first child and you would not believe how cruel people were. It has stayed with me. Good for you for being honest and funny and candid about your experience. New Follower!
holy cow! I'm sorry but I barely speak at all to people in public places that I don't know let alone criticize them for choices that they make. They're grown adults and the choices they make are theirs! Geez. On a second note, you TOTALLY crack me up with the way you so expressively write. The way you blog allows me to practically envision the expression on your face! I love it!!
I don't understand what makes a person feel entitled to force their opinion on a perfect stranger. I'm not a parent but I'm sure not looking forward to the constant judgment that seems to come along with parenthood. What is with some people?!?
Seriously, this was one of the best post from a breastfeeding Mama ever! Fitst let me say that the lady that commented on the formula in the cart was my biggest fear each and every time i went to buy formula for my son. Luckily, i never experienced it because i probably would have torn the persons head off. Second, you totally cracked me up with your reasons for breastfeeding, you are too much
Have a great weekend and thanks for a great post!
Amen, Sister!
This reminds me of a similar posting or two that I wrote when Giselle Bundchen went all sanctimonious on people saying they should be legally mandated to breastfeed for six months.
http://katiehennenlotter.blogspot.com/2010/08/last-thoughts-on-mandatory.html
http://katiehennenlotter.blogspot.com/2010/08/oh-no-she-didnt.html
I breastfed Will exclusively (aside from about 4oz of formula VERY early on that I desperately needed to give the boobs a break from his once an hour power-sucking) for seven months. From that point, until he turned one, we bought formula (oh and incidentally, it's actually easier to mix the powder than to hook up to the pumps or to heat up refrigerated breastmilk– not that it matters, but if you do have to use formula, your laziness can go on unchecked
). No one ever said anything to me, but I can believe, based on what I read on mommy message boards sometimes that people overstep their limits. It's like some women only feel better about themselves if they're A) martyring themselves to their kids and B) making other women feel bad for not doing the same thing. It's really despicable.
Great post!! I am an advocate of breastfeeding and even breastfed my children far beyond 1 year. But like you…I was LUCKY. I never had supply issues & never had anything beyond bearable discomfort, thrush, & one quick bout of mastitis. That might sound bad, but considering I breastfed for 3 3/4 years straight…most of the time it was smooth sailin'.
My philosophy…looking ONLY at the baby's needs, breastfeeding is usually best. But taking into account the whole family's needs, plus the difficulties that sometimes come with breastfeeding…sometimes OVERALL formula-feeding is the best decision.
And a quick P.S. My kids are both pretty healthy, but it seemed like they both got sick a LOT their first year of life. I was surprised–as a breastfeeding mom, aren't I supposed to have ridiculously-healthy kids?! My conclusion–STATISTCALLY babies may be healthier in certain ways if they're breastfed. But each INDIVIDUAL baby has so many factors affecting him/her…. They may get sick a lot or a little, whether they're drinking breastmilk or formula. I look at every little cold or other virus now, as one less they'll get once they start school.
Also STATISTCALLY I usually spell well, but not when writing "statistcally." 😉
this just furthers my belief that i'm nuts – everyone else writes a nice concise comment but I had to spell out my whole personal history and justify my decisions.
I will never understand the nerve of some people. I probably would have cried if someone talked to me like that when I was a new momma. Or crotch-punched her. Depending on the day.
What Heather said about her first child? That is almost exactly my story, too. My son was born tongue tied and the surgery he had that first day made it SO hard for him to breastfeed. Because he couldn't/wouldn't eat the first few days except from a bottle, my supply was so incredibly low that 30 minutes of pumping got me two ounces of milk – IF I was lucky. I remember sitting in the bathroom crying feeling like I had failed as a mom because of all the "breastfeeding is the only way" propaganda I had been fed. I saw four different lactation consultants, went to LLL meetings, tried every trick/tip I could find online but nothing helped get my supply up. I still continued to pump for a few months but my husband finally convinced me that the struggle and the stress just wasn't worth what little bit I was producing.
When it comes down to it, FEEDING the baby is the important part – it doesn't matter which way.
OMG RIDICULOUS. Some people just don't have boundaries! I'm so happy breastfeeding is working well for you!! I loved it and I miss it a lot! But I wish people would just let women do what they need to do. It's such a personal, intimate, emotional thing and a woman should feel free to feed her child in whatever way works best for her & her family. I think we put enough pressure on ourselves as mothers, we don't need everyone else adding to that.
Man, judging from the comments….nothing gets the juices flowing like breastfeeding.
Stopped by after reading your comment – u r 2 funny!! sending the post on to my nieces who have little ones attached to the hip (or is it the boob?) ;))
ha! too funny! i like the comment "get a blog like the rest of us!" genius! nobody should be made to feel bad because they don't breastfeed. like many other things in life, it's a personal choice.
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