That day in May- May 31, 2011
Saturday was May 29. I used to hate May 29. May 29, 2005 was a terrible, terrible day. That was the day I got a call from my mother. I’ll never forget the defeated sadness in her voice telling me my dad had left her after 28 years of marriage. I’ll never forget getting sick, the look on my sister’s face when we told her, and the moments we spent just holding each other in the middle of her apartment trying to make sense out of shock.
May 29 forever changed my view of love, marriage, and raising children. For awhile I didn’t want to celebrate Memorial Day because I spent Memorial Day, 2005 frantically trying to paste together the shattered remains of what I had always known as my nuclear family.
For a few years May 29 passed by unnoticed. I was working, or we went on vacation. But this year, six years later, I thought about the significance of this day a lot.
I was very angry for a long time. He cheated, he lied. I didn’t talk to him for a year. Growing up, I had a wonderful relationship with my dad. We talked a lot. I looked up to him for so long. You tend to think after you grow up, leave home, finish college, begin your career, and get married your parents are just always going to stay together. All the books on parents getting divorced were called something like, “Mommy and Daddy Don’t Love Each Other Anymore”, or something stupid like that. One day I’m gonna write a book called “This is Supposed to Happen When You’re 12: The Adult’s Guide to Parental Divorce.”
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| “Uh oh! Someone has some Daddy issues!” |
I’m always going to be honest with Charlotte about her grandparents and their divorce. (Based on her maturity level and age of course.) Both my parents are remarried now. Life has gone on. It still hurts sometimes, but I’ve put a lot of anger aside. He is her grandfather and I don’t want my tarnished relationship to effect what could be a very special relationship for her. In the long run, it could help Dad and I too. I hope so, then maybe May 29 will always pass by unnoticed.
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| Charlotte and Grandaddy having fun Easter Sunday |
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Amy, I know exactly how you feel. September 28 is that day for me. I was 17 when my parents split and while 8 years does wonders in helping to heal, it will never be the same. Hopefully, though, my kids will have a more reasoned and open-minded view of the world than I did and understand that people are people and their parents – and grandparents – will always love them. But yes, it sucks.
((((())) My husband's aunt recently had her husband leave her after 22 years of marriage for a younger woman totally out of the blue. The other woman? Also married and her husband doesn't know and she has 2 kids uner 5. She hasn't left him but the uncle has made life miserable for the aunt and their 3 kids who are either in college or high school. I'm afraid his daughters won't ever talk to him again. What a jackass.
wow, I didn't know what happened but now I do. I can't say that I understand because I don't. Thankfully I haven't had to go through it but certainly can understand things being painful. I'm glad to see things are better now though. I still have a mental image of your parents together all those years a GFBC. GFBC changed like I never expected it would and certainly isn't the same. hugs to you for working through everything. sounds like you've become a stronger person because of it. much love.