You’ve all heard me pissing and moaning lately about being sick all the time because I have a child in daycare.

::cough cough::

Excuse me.  The snot has returned.

I’m now convinced Murphy’s Law of the Working Parent states something like this:  “Either you or the child will be stricken ill during the first week of new employment.”

I was rushing this morning and didn’t have time to use the Neti Pot.  Come lunch time I would have shoved a pen up my nose to pull out the nastiness that was congealing in my sinuses.  But, I was surrounded by my happy, healthy new coworkers.  I’m pretty sure they’re already picking up on the fact that I’m the sickly type as I heard some “Typhoid Mary” references when they heard my hoarse voice.

I rushed to the drugstore during lunch and found this…

Attractive, right?  Yeah, I don’t care.  This thing is AMAZING!  I love it more than my Neti Pot.  It’s the NeilMed Sinus Rinse squirt bottle thing.  For a measly $5 this little beauty saved my life today.

After I bought it I prayed the bathroom at the store was a one-seater with a sink.  Wrong!  I awkwardly filled it with one of the saline packets and warm water from the sink NEAR the bathrooms at the store.  Yeah, this old building had a unisex sink between the bathrooms.  I mean, can a girl get some nasal privacy!?!? An employee saw me doing this.  I smiled sheepishly and mumbled something crazy in my hoarse voice before dashing to the car.

There was no way I was douching my nose in the Ladies Room at my new job.  No way.

I drove to an empty parking lot.  I looked like I was doing drugs, or waiting to turn a trick as I stood in the bushes next to my car.  I didn’t care.  I just wanted to breathe.

Oh sweet salty water!

I watched the snot gush out of my nostrils into the bushes.  It felt so good I wanted to do it again.  I remembered the back building at my new office.  That had a one-seater!  Perfect!  I returned and slipped in the back building for another hit.

More snot came out.  I’m not even kidding you.

That’s when I heard the key in the lock of the back building.  Oh God!  I wiped off my face and grabbed the bottle.  My boss’ husband who often does building maintenance had arrived.  I smiled while closing the bathroom door and explained in raspy speech that I was “Checking out some equipment for tomorrow!”  I hurried into the equipment room.

He probably just thought I was taking a crap.  I guess it’s better for him to think that than know I was nose douching.

Disclaimer:  NeilMed has no idea who I am and in no way payed me to endorse their product.  However, I’m breathing so well, I’d be willing to work out a deal.