As parents we become enamored with our little babies.  Raising a baby is full of snuggles, feedings, rocking, and swaddling.  I look back on the days of Charlotte’s infancy and I get all squishy inside.  Yes there is poop and sleepless nights but it’s a perfect, sweet little one!  Right?!

Today I realized I’m raising a person.

Don’t get me wrong I was fully aware that it was a human baby I birthed 17  months ago, but something she did today made me realize she’s a PERSON.  A flawed human being.

I went to pick her up from the Waddler class today and she didn’t greet me with her usual enthusiasm.  Well, I thought, “That’s okay.  My mama-ego isn’t THAT fragile.”  (Yes it is.)  I sat on the floor at her level.  Some of her classmates toddled up to me, enthralled with my beaded necklace.  Charlotte’s good friend gave me sweet smiles, sat in my lap and cooed at every bead.  Charlotte did not like this.  It happened very fast.  She marched over to that little girl and gave her a swipe before turning on me with a swat.

::GASP::

I blurted, “CHARLOTTE!  No ma’m!  That is not nice!”  I looked at the teacher who seemed equally shocked.  (Good, it seems that’s not common.)  I turned to check out the other little girl and she was smiling and obviously not phased.  Her swipe didn’t hurt me either.  I  said, “Charlotte we do not hit our friends and you do not hit Mama!  It’s okay for another kid to sit with your Mama.”

She felt jealousy and anger like a real person.  Suddenly it became a daunting task to be the person raising and molding this little human.  I went on to stress how she should say she was sorry to her friend, but the toddler mind moves quickly and she started playing with my necklace.  I guess we’ll get to shame and empathy when she has another “human moment”.  When can we start Time-Out?  I have no idea.

::SIGH::

Raising a toddler is full of  messy dinners, squrimy baths, repeat book readings, and Elmo snuggles.  Tonight I got all squishy inside thinking about my girl.  Yes there are tantrums and food throwing, but she’s my perfect, sweet little one.  Right!?