Baby Version 2.0 August 9, 2012
It dawned on me the other day that a year from now my daughter will be 2 1/2. Well, okay it didn’t dawn on me as much as it hit me like “Oh s&*#! Really!?”
When is the best time to plan for Baby #2?
I understand that oftentimes planning is not the case as much as you just move forward with a little oopsy-daisy surprise after a weekend getaway. Maybe you played the odds after forgetting to get your pills filled and won big in the game of marital roulette? These are just some scenarios of friends of ours with darling little siblings.
I would like to plan if I could. We did for our first and I love the thought of her having a sister or brother about 3 years younger than her. (See reasons above.) I’m a firm believer that people need siblings. Not that there is anything wrong with being an only child, but imagine what kind of attention whore I would be WITHOUT my sister to knock me down a few pegs. Let’s face it, I’m bad enough already.
Assuming it only takes me 3 months to get knocked up like it did the first time, could I plan it out to the month? Is that even possible? Am I acting presumptive and selfish to think it’s going to be that easy again?
Let me state for the record, however, this is is just a blog post and no way an announcement. I’ve been in a new job for just six months and we’re trying to sell our house. Plus, I’m probably not going to talk about “trying”. It makes me feel icky. I’m starting to think kids 3 1/2 to 4 years apart is sufficient.
Thoughts?
Spread it around:
Well, I only have one experience, and that’s kids who are 26 1/2 months apart. And for us, it has been a GREAT age difference.
I did have a different experience with the baby I just carried for my best friend. My kids turned 6 and 4 during the pregnancy. I liked that they were old enough to be a lot more self-sufficient than my daughter was while I was pregnant with my son. I’d say it was easier taking care of my 2 older kids during this pregnancy, than taking care of 1 much-younger kid during my 2nd pregnancy. However, if the baby I just had was mine, I’d be starting entirely over with diapers and all the other “baby stuff” that I was totally fine with leaving behind some time ago! So while there are some nice things about a larger age difference, overall I think I’d prefer the smaller age difference.
You are seriously my hero for carrying your friends baby! What a gift, Beth!
My boys are almost exactly 2 years apart and I love it. Obviously, unless you have a big secret, yours wont be that close. If I have a third we’ll aim for 3.5ish years between #2 and #3.
No secrets here! I promise! Ya’ll will be the first to know.
I am 3.5 year older than my brother. It’s great. I dont have any plans any time soon for number two, but I would want number 1 potty-trained and able to somewhat fend for herself. I also would not mind having another child in May. However, it took us 12 cycles to get pregnant. I don’t really think I will plan out a month.
Hmmm…potty training. Good point. The other side of that is, my friend had her’s close together and said she didn’t want to potty train one while having a newborn. She said it was easier to change two diapers.
Our pregnancies were/are super-planned. All three are within 2-3 weeks of being two years apart. All our babies were conceived on the first try, which shocked us each of the three times it happened. I guess we’re lucky in that respect (although I was counting on a cycle or two to come to my senses.)
Anyway, there are disadvantages to 2-3 year spacing. For us, Will hit his terrible twos immediately when his brother was born. So, we had a lunatic and a newborn and that stressed my ass out. They were both in diapers for a period of about four months before Will potty-trained. I felt that I was ALWAYS wiping someone’s ass. That being said, the struggles did not deter us from doing this to ourselves again because I think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
My sister and I were 5 1/2 years apart, and I always thought it was too much. We’re good friends now, but at five years old, I had been running the show for a long time and very clearly remember the upheaval that happened when she was born. With the two year difference, Will has little to no recollection of life before John and John won’t remember life without the little brother or sister. I think there’s a benefit to that. Plus they’re getting to an age where they can really play with each other and that frees me up to do other things.
Finally, I learned with my second pregnancy to aim to have the next baby a month or two earlier in the year than the previous baby. So, since Charlotte was born in November, I’d shoot for an early October or even September baby. Here’s why: Will was conceived in June and born in March, which was a good time of year to be in the third trimester and to have a newborn. I thought I wanted another March baby because of this, but the way my cycle fell, John’s due date was the END of March, whereas Will’s was the beginning. I constantly compared my John pregnancy with where I was at the same time of year with Will’s pregnancy. Because John’s was three weeks behind Will’s I felt like I was pregnant longer. Like, I got to March 4th and felt like I should be shooting out a baby RIGHT THEN, but I still had three weeks to go, so it felt like I was pregnant longer. To better play mind games with myself, I knew I wanted #3 to be born in February because it would feel like I wasn’t pregnant as long. So far, it’s working. Anyway, I know I wrote a lot. Sometimes I can’t control myself. Good luck to you, whenever you decide to fire up the ovaries and uterus again.
Ha! Fire up the uterus and ovaries! Yeah, here’s the thing. I don’t want a baby in Aug-Oct because of the whole Kindergarten thing, you know? In November, Charlotte has clearly missed the cut off date. In August, I was the youngest in my class and it sucked. You know?
Yeah that’s tricky. My sister was born the day after the cut off and had to wait an additional year to start school. Otherwise I guess it’s better to be the oldest in your class than the youngest. My birthday is in June. I always hit the age for my grade before school started so it wasn’t too big a deal, but I can see how being 17 until Fall break of your freshman year of college could be a pain. Maybe if the timing of the pregnancies is totally different, like your second baby’s due in April or something, you won’t compare. Mine were just so close as to mess with my mind.
I think we spaced our kids perfectly! Hollin was just a few months shy of three and potty trained! I made it very clear when I was put on bed rest with Johnny that when he came there was no way in hell I was going to have two kids in diapers and since I was on bed rest I couldn’t pick Hollin up to change her, so we did it! I love how close they are and how much they love each other. I wonder if we waited longer would they be best friends like they are now? You body will tell you when it’s time!
They are the greatest! I miss their faces!