Fall fun and Fall-out- September 23, 2012
We hyped up this weekend a ton. We promised all these fabulous features we really weren’t positive were even at this farm we were going to. Everyday we would say, “Charlotte, do you want to go to a farm?! Won’t that be so fun!?” She’s in this phase where she agrees with pretty much everything we say. I could have said, “Do you want to drink tuna juice?!” and she would have been psyched.
It was her good buddy Adalyn’s 2nd birthday party. This place has all the autumn goodness a kid could hope for and a parent could photograph.
We were those a-hole parents that totally got there late. It was entirely my fault. It’s about a 45 minute drive to get to the farm and I thought we could get there late and it wouldn’t be a problem. Wrong! They were waiting for us to start the hayride as we hurried to the entrance. Greyson and I were mid-argument about the diaper bag as we rushed and dropped things. I guiltily greeted the birthday girl’s parents and off we went.
For 99% of the party, it was wonderful! Charlotte and Adalyn call each other Chasie and Addie. They are truly adorable together. They are the only girls in their class at school and quite the pair. Adalyn didn’t like it when Charlotte got too close to her cake and Charlotte seriously envied Adalyn’s presents. Ah, girlfriends! It starts early, doesn’t it?
They climbed on the picnic table and dug in the cooler. We joked with her parents that we should just give them some frozen water instead of taking them on train rides and playground equipment.
Oh, I said 99% didn’t I? Yeah. The last 15 minutes were a screaming, thrashing blur of pumpkins and hay. When I say my child hit the proverbial wall, I mean she lost it. Completely lost it. This was the type of tantrum that started with pumpkin selection and ended with a string of snot several inches long, dangling from her pacifier. Yes, we gave our kid a paci in front of all the other parents who’ve binky-weaned their toddlers. We had no choice really. Everyone was staring at her while she screamed like we had shoved bamboo shoots under her fingernails. I swear we only tried to help her carry a pumpkin too heavy for her to pick up! But, that was all it took. It was terrible. There was nothing we could do to calm her down. We quickly said goodbye after climbing off the hayride, Greyson fireman carried her out while I juggled a pumpkin with a light coating of snot.
This was just after I had wiped her paci clean. The daddies are doing what they can in the wake of Charlotte’s tantrum here.
Charlotte was asleep before we got out of the parking lot. We then had a 45 minute husband/wife discussion on the way home about whether we should seek a child and family therapist to find out what is wrong with our kid.
We figured it out. She suffers from Naplesstoddleritis. She was an absolute delight the rest of the weekend. We agreed as a couple that tantrums would not rule our lives. We can’t get so upset when she does. We have to remain calm and realize she’s a 22 month-old who’s exhausted and can’t express herself yet. That’s okay. This will pass. We plan on not reacting so dramatically. She reacts to us being upset. We just need to calmly remove her for a time-out. Notice that’s what Adalyn’s dad was doing in the last picture.
I wrote about this a few weeks ago and many of you had some great ideas for us. Thank you. Please let us know if there is something else you think we should have done in this instance. She was just tired and got mad when we took the pumpkin from her hands. Thoughts?
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Oh, hon, I wish I knew. I’m sad to say it doesn’t exactly stop … it just gets easier. Mine still breaks into tears if we do something for her that she wanted to do on her own, even with the words. Sigh.
But yeah, you did what you had to do. The meltdowns will happen and my best words of wisdom are to work at alerting her to transitions more. Kind of a walk-through like, “Mommy is going to pick up this heavy pumpkin,” and maybe give her a smaller one to hold while you guys take the bigger one? Even if it means you have to buy a 50c pumpkin – which sounds like bribery but seriously helps, otherwise she can help you push it into the car?
I’m probably sounding loopy, but it’s a small effort – my reminder for the day. And don’t feel badly. Even if you reacted intensely. EVERY.SINGLE.PARENT KNOWS. Even if they seemingly roll their eyes or look away. They know. They’ve been there, too. (Hugs)
Ah! Transitions! Good idea. Ease her in a bit. Good thinking, friend! Yeah, anyone who was giving me the stink eye can get over themselves. I’m sure they’ve been there too. Thanks Andrea!
OMG, if you were there Saturday, we were totally there too. From about 9:30-1:00. It was fun, and the boys liked it. But once you hit nap time, particularly for John, it’s time to call it a day.
Re: tantrums and tiredness? You figure it out and it gets better. But then they figure out that you figured it out, so they adapt and it gets worse again, and then you adapt so it gets better, but then, well, you get the picture. I think they ride waves of agreeableness and then hit another phase which upsets everything. We’ve defeated Will’s tantrums at least twice and now he’s entering this delightful phase where he wants to act like his brother… who is two years younger… and starting tantrums.
Hope y’all had fun at Hill Ridge. The corn room was my boys’ favorite– including Bill’s, but we had to dump dozens of corn kernels out of all three of their pants when we got home. (I personally abstained from the corn room after I shook my cervix loose on that huge slide made out of industrial tubing.)
Aw! I missed you! Yes, that is exactly when we were there. It was the cutest thing. She loved it! We are going to go back for sure. I bet the grandparents would love it.
Ugh! I don’t want a tantrum cycle. We’re gonna get that Magic 123 book you’re talking about. Can I get it on my Nook?
Yep 1-2-3 Magic is on the Nook. It works. I also find that when Will knows what to expect, he deals better. I do a lot of, “Okay, three minutes left!” and micromanaging a plan that I tell him in advance. Bill calls it ‘managing expectations.’
Is there such a thing as naplessadultitis? My husband may have that.
I would just verablize everything, do not show a reaction and continue on. Tell her, Charlotte I know you can do a lot by yourself, but right now you need mommy’s help. I see you are frustrated and want to do it yourself. And then I’d just tell her, ‘not a choice.’ Also, if you are screaming we need to leave our friends. And then do it.
[…] is Charlotte’s pumpkin. She is quite proud of it. She should be considering the epic toddler tantrum we endured to get it home. She says “My punkin!” whenever she sees it and […]