Tot Pot- March 17, 2013
WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS EXTREME BATHROOM DISCUSSION. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE POOP, GET OFF THE CRAPPER!
I know kids don’t usually go to Kindergarten crapping their pants. I also know kids don’t move into a college dorm still wetting the bed. Well, they might. That would be a time to talk about drinking in moderation. But, I’m starting to think I started my daughter potty training too early.
We followed the pediatrician’s advice to buy a potty for a little girl when she turns 18 months. We did. We talked about the potty. We brushed her teeth on the potty. She pushed the buttons on the potty that made funny noises. She thought the potty was great
When she turned 2 in November we bought Pull-Ups and she was delighted. She didn’t want diapers anymore. She was psyched.
After the holidays, when Santa brought panties, it was on like Donky Kong. Potty training. Boo yah! She wears panties at school except for her nap. At home we try to keep panties on until it’s time for bed. When we go somewhere, though, it’s back in a Pull-Up.
Number one is usually not a problem. Number two. Ugh! Still a battle EVERYDAY! I feel like I’m always dumping little turds from Minnie Mouse underpants into the commode. I lead a glamorous life, lemme tell ya.
We’ve tried the “one M&M for pee and two for poop.” We’ve tried the “one sticker on the chart for pee and two for poop.” We’ve caved in to poor parenting tactics and bribed her with toys. She has only pooped on toilet a handful of times and it was really just good timing on our part because we detected a pre-poop fart and ran her in the bathroom.
I’ve heard of 3 1/2 year-olds who still won’t take a crap unless it’s in their Pull-Up or diaper. I don’t want that to happen to us. I know she can do it, she just doesn’t want to stop playing long enough to go.
What am I doing wrong here? Should I ditch the Pull-Up for naptime and bedtime too, and hope when she wakes in her own filth she’ll get the picture? That seems cruel and like something they would do to prisoners in captivity, you know?
Where are we going wrong? Should we have just done the extreme roll-up-the-rug-and-let-them-run-naked method? Is she just too young? What did you do?
Thanks!
Spread it around:
I’d bring the potty to her. Since shdoesn’t want to stop playing I’d have a kids size toliet out in the living room with you to see if that works for awhile. Otherwise, yeah take a long weekend and hope the naked stuff works. She’s still pretty young though!
So, uh, you probably DON’T want to hear my story because my daughter was almost 4 1/2 before she’d do it in the potty. And I am being TOTALLY serious with you when I tell you that our poop difficulties, in the 20 months preceding that, were the most difficult parenting challenge I’d experienced to date. Lots of tears and MASSIVE frustration (and I’m talking about me!) Don’t worry, she’s managed to challenge me in bigger ways since then!
Anyway, the biggest thing for me was eventually I just had to LET GO because she had MAJOR fear issues (which I still don’t understand) associated with pooping on the potty. Quite plainly, it FREAKED HER OUT. And I tried pretty much every trick in the book, to no avail. All that worked was waiting for her to grow out of it. I had to make peace with the fact that she was needed a Pull-Up or diapers to poop in, for well over a year and a half after she started peeing in the potty. It stank (literally) but for us, there were no shortcuts. When I finally came to a point of peace with that, I was a much happier mama.
So, feel free to try all the tips people give you. One of them might work! (Judging from all the advice I got, much of it unsolicited, many people do find a “trick” that works for them!) But rest easy, knowing that she WILL get it. If she is resisting, it’s okay to relax and let her set the pace, especially if you find that pushing it is too stressful for both of you.
If you really want to read more, I blogged quite a bit about our journey…. http://cbethblog.blogspot.com/search/label/potty%20training
We switched Justin from diapers to underwear a little over a month ago. (He’ll be 3 in June) He likes to wait sometimes until he’s wearing a Pull-Up (naptime, bedtime) to do his biz. But he does go in the potty, too, so I’m trying not to make too big a deal about it. We sit him on the potty before naptime and bedtime and encourage him to go. And by golly he demands his 2 Reese’s Pieces or jelly beans when he goes! We don’t punish him if he poops in his pull-up but he doesn’t get a reward. He gets some negative feedback (whatever is appropriate at the moment) if he poops in his underwear. Since we KNOW he doesn’t have issues going on the potty or waiting for a pull-up, he has no reason to have accidents, other than he’s too busy playing. Funny thing – he has NEVER pooped in the potty (or in his naptime pull-up) at school. He goes all times of the day at home on stay-home days. But he won’t go at school. He waits til he gets home.
My personal opinion and 2 cents… i would not ditch the pull-ups for sleeping. My 2yo does not wear them for naps at school – their choice, not mine. He wears a pull-up for naps at home and he wears them at night. He’s wet about 3 out of 5 mornings. Toddlers can’t control wetting themselves when they sleep. Seems like that might cause more potty issues if she wets her bed a lot, not to mention having to change sheets/pajamas in the middle of the night. My oldest son was potty-trained at 2.5 but slept in pull-ups at night until he was almost 4.
Will would pee in the potty from the time he was about two, but never did the other until he was 2.5. Even after that it took another 2-3 months for him to be consistent. He was in underwear all day by the time he was 2.75. That being said, he still wears a pull up overnight. Going in your sleep is strictly a neurological function rather than behavioral.
Charlotte is just 2.5, right? She’ll catch on. Time is probably the best thing. The only other thing is, if she’s potty trained on pee, have you tried ONLY rewarding her for #2? You said you’d do one sticker/candy for pee and two for poop. Maybe one is good enough for her. If you haven’t, I might try only giving her a reward if she makes a more solid deposit. Oh, one last thing: do you stay with her in the bathroom when she uses the potty? Because Will didn’t do #2 until we realized he wanted privacy. I really think she’ll work it out (so to speak) on her own timing, though. Good luck!
Hey Amy!!! This post so cracks me up and I say that only knowing you and knowing your sense of humor. I read the comments you got and they speak for themselves, no two babies are alike
so many different strategies work for so many different kiddos! All of these mamas have great suggestions and all of them took time to write something that worked for them – you have got to love this online community thing! anyways, that all being said, my advice is kind of random – but it’s the one advice that I got that really stuck, and worked well for us. I don’t know if you can go backwards now, but a mom advised me once to not go the Pull-Up route. Stay the course with diapers or they’ll think these undie-pants-type-things are like undie-pants and they can go potty in any undie pants (pull ups or the real thing). I tried it and stayed the course with diapers and went straight to underwear – we had a few accidents during the day and maybe once or twice at night (per child) but nothing other than that. I think they get tired of the whole diaper thing (don’t we all). Now, I also have boys and although I’ve heard girls are easier to train, they boys did really well. For us that M&M thing really worked for Curran, and as much as I worried he would want an M&M for pooping until he went off to college, eventually he did forget about asking for them, he wanted to get back to playing and was off and running. And Tosh and Asher no doubt wanted to be like big brother so training them wasn’t a huge challenge (and you’re a little less worried I think, the 2nd and 3rd time around), but none of them did pull ups and were trained by 2 and a half. Each child is so different, so you can try everything or just wait it out. Katie had some great comments above about rewarding only for #2 or giving her some privacy…she might want to be a “big girl” and go with the door shut (Asher still asks’ for his “pribe-acies” lol). I know you have a great mom support system, so ask around, see what you hear about the pull-ups. they are very popular, I just happened to hear that advice from another mom at the right time and tried it, it worked out great. We miss you guys!! I’m sure your household is nuts right now with March Madness 
Good luck with Charlotte – she’ll get it when you least expect it. I know for you guys it can’t happen quick enough, but like you said she won’t be in kindergarten crapping her pants. Tosh had his paci until his 4th birthday – that was our big challenge, yikes! If it’s not one thing parenting, it’s some other crazy thing. Love you guys! Have a great week!! Macrae
A was 2.5 when he was potty trained but poop is a little bit different. You have to give them time. I think she’s still pretty young. Encourage her, put a potty out in the open and only reward for #2, but you’re doing the right thing. It’s a journey for sure.