Pink Mom Blue Mom- April 7, 2013
I’ve seen and heard lots of women lately identifying themselves as “boy moms” or “girl moms,” meaning they are the mothers of children of only one sex or another. There are even cute poems on Pinterest and fun t-shirts to celebrate this identification.
I have many friends with sons and no daughters. 99% of these women are wonderful and never say things to disparage other mothers. But, some things have been bugging me lately when I’ve talked to a couple of “boy moms” I know.
- Comment #1 from a boy mom at a “Mommy and Me” type of class- “I’m SO GLAD I had boys! It’s so much easier!”
Okay, so you just said that in front of my daughter. Granted, she is only two-years-old and probably doesn’t understand, but since you were so comfortable saying it, I imagine you would not edit yourself in front of a little girl who is say, 5-8 years-old and would know exactly what you meant by that comment. Basically, you just told my daughter she’s not good enough that it’s a huge hassle for me to be raising her.
Ma’m, you are the example of women for your son. You just made that comment in front of him as well. What is he supposed to think about girls and women when you disparage your own gender?
- Comment #2 from a woman with one son contemplating having another baby- “I just don’t even know what I would do with a girl!”
Um, okay. YOU WERE ONCE A GIRL! Someone knew what to do with you. It’s not like female humans are a different species or something. It’s still a baby.
Now, let me say. I’m not innocent in the “Girl Mom” versus “Boy Mom” thing. During a discussion about whether boys or girls are easier, I took it a little personal when a boy mom said, “Girl stuff is just too much. All the bows and tights and stuff. I mean, I don’t have to deal with periods and emotional teens and stuff like that. Ugh!” I fired back with, “Well, it’s boys who drink too much, drive too fast and don’t call their mothers!”
I am sorry for that comment. I in no way meant to imply that all young men behave like that. I probably shouldn’t have taken her comments personally. It just grates on my nerves sometimes. I LOVE having a daughter. Not because she’s a girl, but because she’s ours. I didn’t care when I was pregnant if she was a boy or a girl and I don’t care now. I love her for who she is.
Let’s drop the titles and just be “moms.” Okay?
So, as I was writing this, I started thinking about all my good friends who might think I’m talking about them. I’m not. Ya’ll are awesome. I’m talking about acquaintances. I promise.
Spread it around:
:::fist bump:::
I wanted to strangle a girl I knew who said “I’m so *not* a girl mom…I don’t know what I’ll do if this baby is a girl. I can barely do my own hair & makeup!” I settled for a giant eyeroll instead of homicide and she did end up having a girl but seriously…these are babies not Barbies.
I have an almost two year old daughter and we’re expecting a son pretty much any day now. The only things I’m worried about are making sure the diapers are situated properly to prevent him from peeing out of the top and not getting peed on every time I change his diaper.
Babies not Barbies! Love it! Congratulations on Baby #1 and #2! Good luck!
My MIL, a mom of 2 boys, has gone on for years about how girls are such a handful to raise, how boys are just easier, how she’s glad she never had girls.
Then when she learned she’d have 2 granddaughters, girls were suddenly just as awesome as boys, and I see her spoiling them with more goodies than she does my son.
When will people learn that it’s all in what we know? I never know what to say when someone learns they’re having a boy or girl. “Oh, fun!” has become my generic response because, as a mother of 1 boy and 2 girls, I honestly can’t say which sex is more of any one thing, short of reproductive organs.
Thank you! Your babies are your babies. Totally.
So funny! And I totally agree. I hear that all the time and I don’t understand where it comes from! I get it about having twins more than one sex over the other. Like “oh my gosh, I have no idea how you have twins! It must be so hard. I’d just die if that happened to me!” Well they aren’t aliens and they haven’t turned on me in attack mode – so it works out. I am admittedly over sensitive just because if what we went through just to have them. But I totally get what you’re saying. People have lost their filter and ability to think before they speak! I’m just happy to be a mommy!
thanks for the good laugh!
People say “I would die if that happened to me.” Seriously. That is ridiculous. Twins are so exciting! Such a blessing! Especially Avery and Raegan. They are special.
I’m totally guilty of saying that if we have a 3rd I wouldn’t “know what to do” with a girl! But I absolutely don’t mean it in a negative way. I’m just so used to all things boy that I feel like we’d be starting from scratch with a girl. Whereas if we ever had another boy he’d just wear the same blue/sports/truck clothes in the same blue nursery with the same blue crib sheets.
I think most moms don’t mean it in a negative way and I know you never would, Heather. There are just so many women who disparage other women and womanhood in general that it is totally infuriating to me. I get it about using the same stuff. Ha! I would be lying if I didn’t think, “Hmm, if I have another girl, that would be easy when it comes to buying stuff.”
Love my sons, love my daughter, love this post.
Thanks!
I am not into ‘girly’ things and I don’t really know what to do with a girl who is into such girly things. And I will say it. I prefer activities that are more associated with men. And that is what I share with my girl child.