Conception Redshirting- August 28, 2013

In case the 10 million Pinteresty pictures in your Facebook feed of adorable children holding little signs announcing their newest grade hasn’t tipped you off, it’s Back-To-School week!

Yesterday Beth Anne posted wrote a post for Babble that got me thinking. She posted it to her Facebook, resulting in a string of mommy-blogger opinions going back and forth on the hot back-to-school topic of kindergarten redshirting. Dun! Dun! DUUUUN!

If you don’t know, kindergarten redshirting is basically holding your kid back from starting kindergarten so they are older in their class, particularly if they are spring/summer babies that would be young in their class. In my experience it seems parents of boys are likely to do this because sometimes little guys take longer to mature, but I have heard of parents holding back their girls too. I have no problem with kindergarten redshirting if your kid is developmentally or academically behind. I also admire parents who make the difficult decision to have their child repeat a grade if they need to. There’s no shame in that, you have to do what is best for your child.

FYI, I’m an August baby. I was the youngest in my class and hated it. I whined about being the last to get my drivers’ license. My parents told me I was ready for kindergarten and I was going. I did pretty well academically. They also reminded me that many of my friends had their licenses already and could give me a ride. They had no pity for my complaining.

What I think is incredibly stupid is holding back your child for aesthetic or athletic reasons. Meaning, you want your kid to be bigger than the other kids or be better in sports. I’ll admit, I am raising a girl and was raised in a family with girls. Those things were NOT particularly valued in my home during my upbringing. Being the biggest, strongest or most athletic is not at all important to me. So, you understand why I feel holding a child back for those reasons is silly.

However, I have a confession that I fear makes me no better than a vain, redshirting parent.

I am very blessed to be a fertile, regular ovulator. I know, not everyone has that luxury. I feel guilty even saying that as I have many friends who have struggled with infertility. I was lucky enough to time my conception and pregnancy to make sure my babies would be born in the fall or winter so I wouldn’t have to worry about the kindergarten cutoff. I’ll admit, if I had not concieved in time to have my baby between October and February, I would have stopped trying for a number of months, and started again when the time was right. 

I really wanted to have my baby in the fall/winter so I didn’t have to make any difficult kindergarten decisions. The state of North Carolina made my decision for me. The cut-off date here is August 31. Boom. She’s born in November, she won’t be the absolute oldest, but older. She’ll have plenty of Pre-K under her belt and ready to go at 5 1/2 for kindergarten.

So there you go. Apparently conception redshirting is a thing too. Now I can’t scoff at your son, who’s a head taller and a year older than the rest of the team.

 

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16 Responses to “Conception Redshirting- August 28, 2013”

  1. Danielle Montague says:

    This is a very interesting topic Amy. I actually did the opposite hoping to conceive in time to have my baby between May and August so that I would avoid holding my child back a year. I would have been a little disappionted if it didn’t work out that way. I never really considered the possible benefits you mentioned. Hmmmm, definitely something to think about for next time. Thanks for sharing! .

    • Amy says:

      I never thought of it that way! Funny! I have to call you. Charlotte asks about taking Baby Blake his present every day. I’ll call soon. :-)

  2. Wendy says:

    It’s interesting.. When I found out I wa pregnant this time (due early February) my mom mentioned it as a good time of the year for school.” Not too early or late for a birthday, especially if a boy!” However being pregnant Septemeber to June was a LOT more pleasant than suffering through the first trimester in the heat!!

  3. Beth Anne says:

    It really is an interesting topic.

    I’m SO GLAD that I have an October baby & the decision is made for me. He’ll be almost six when he goes to kindergarten & I think he’ll be ready. It wasn’t planned that way but dang, I am glad it happened & would try for it again.

    • Amy says:

      I can’t blame you! I hated being an August baby. Again, it was fine. I didn’t suffer any in life, but it is great to have Oct/Nov kiddos!

  4. Heather says:

    Definitely An Interesting Topic.. I Will Say For My Daughte, Born In November We Were Also Happy With Not Having To WorryAbout The School Issue.. However I Have Found With Sports Already I Am Quite The Opposite..I Hate That She Cant Be In The Older Gymnastics Class Or Be With The Older Soccer Team.. And By Older I Mean Most Are A Few MonthS Older. I FeEl Like She Is Never Being ChallEnged Enough.. Now This Time Around We Have A Little Boy Due Tomorrow, August 30Th.. It HasbBeen The Number One Thing We Have Heard About.. Will He Be Born Before The August 31St Cut Off Or Not So That It Is Our Decision.. At This Point He Isnt Here But As We Wait It Has Been A Very Interesting Thing To Consider..

    • Amy says:

      I never thought of that! Charlotte starts her dance classes this week. I’ll be interested to see if she’s “challenged enough.” Good point!

  5. My brother & I were both Nov babies, but the cut off “in those days” was December. My mom split the difference if you will. I started at age 4 while my brother started at age 5. I honestly thought it was pretty cool [minus waiting on the driver’s license and unable to see rated R movies in NC until nearly the end of my 1st semester of college (only had to be 17 in VA)] to be on the younger side. You are lucky to have that option though. Although it has never crossed my mind to plan my kids based on school years. With the endometriosis, I was warned I might never have kids. We thought we’d be trying for months and then I was instantly pregnant with D. As for a 2nd, we keep failing (even after an all clear on the endo) and certainly don’t care on a birth month for any reason.

    D is a July baby and, as you know, the school is year round & starts in July. He is more challenged with older kids around him in preschool so unless we see a difference in the coming months, we’ll be sending him to Kindergarten next year. I do think it’s a parental option just like planning your children’s birth months if you can. I’ve found the whole redshirting thing you & BA brought up to be interesting. I really didn’t realize it was “a thing” until this week.

    • Amy says:

      I’ll cross my fingers for you and send some good baby vibes for #2! Good Luck!

      That’s interesting that he’s more challenged with older kids around. Good point!

  6. Katie says:

    I don’t really care how old my kids are with regard to their classmates. I also don’t really care if they care how old they are with regard to their classmates. They’re all born in February and March, though, so I guess they’ll be right in the middle with regard to age. It won’t really be an issue for us. However, I did strategically conceive my pregnancies so that I could bridge my maternity leave with my summer vacation (the only perk of being a teacher– even if we don’t get paid during the summer) and be home with all the kids until they were each six months old. I also purposefully conceived my third using the Chinese birth chart so that it would be born around the same time as my boys, but be a girl. It worked!

  7. I ideally wanted to give birth in April-May so as an educator I had more time at home since ya know I don’t get a maternity leave or a sick day paid or not. So moneywise and getting a good start breastfeeding wise that’s what was my dream. Thankfully I got my May baby the first time. That being said, if she isn’t ready for Kindergarten at 5 I have no issues holding her back. I see too many kiddos getting pushed at too young of an age and when they leave my preschool room I push for parents to put them in young fives unless I really think they are emotionally and academically ready. I think sports is a dumb reason. I actually had a dad last year that wanted his June birthday kiddo held back and his mom and I both argued how smart he is and how bored he would be in young fives. The kid is almost reading! He doesn’t need to be held back. I’m also glad they are slowlymoving my states age up. It was always December 1st and this year it will be November 1st and going back until we hit Sept 1st.

  8. Hilary says:

    Interesting this post was on Hollin’s birthday… But I would say to any parent… Hold them back! Not worth it and do it because it is what is best for your kid, academically! Not for any aOther reason, like sports! We held Hollin back this year (repeating first) and hands down best decision we made. She is more confident and doing so well in academic standpoint… More importantly she is happy! We made the decision but she did too!

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