Private Parts- January 5, 2014
Our three-year-old has become interested in what makes a girl a girl and a boy a boy. She asks, “Mama, what do girls have again?” She has obviously noticed her newborn brother’s different genitals during diaper changes. In her class at daycare they now have separate potties for Boys and Girls in the Threes class versus the tiny unisex toilets in the toddler rooms. This further emphasizes the differences. I was changing the baby’s diaper the other day and she said, “Mama! I see his peanuts!” We corrected her pronunciation of “penis” and stifled our giggles.
Okay. So we’ll have to be more diligent in our quest to make sure we use proper anatomical terms. One thing we have discussed is that private parts are private. We explained to our daughter that that others don’t touch your private parts. Only parents when they are helping you in the bath or the doctor. We have discussed with her that if anyone ever tries to touch her or keep secrets about that type of behavior, that she needs to tell us. I feel like she understands this and I’m glad. We want to make sure our child is not a victim of abuse.
I was unaware of how my parental diligence could hilariously backfire. Never underestimate a three-year-old.
During a recent family road trip, we heard “I have to go potty!” from the back seat. We pulled off the interstate and I took her to the ladies room at a small town gas station. We took advantage of the larger handicapped stall. We were the only ones in the bathroom as she did her business. I didn’t think much of another woman coming in the bathroom and taking the stall next to us. I took my turn at the toilet.
She stood next to me restlessly, hanging on to the handicapped bar. With my pants down, hovering over the commode I heard my sweet child say loudly and firmly with conviction, “Mama! I will not touch your privates!”
::gasp::
::head smack::
I felt my face get really hot. I pictured this nameless woman behind the partition calling county services in this rural area to report a sexual deviant. I caught my breath and stuttered nervously, “Yes sweetie. That’s right. Private parts are private! Very good.” I then hurried her out of the stall and we washed our hands. I heard a flush. Oh God! I knew I’d have to look at this woman. I silently prayed she would see I was a nice mom with her private parts covered and not some pervert. I gave a polite, nervous smile. For some reason I felt like I needed to speak. I tend to talk too much in general, let alone when I’m nervous. I saw her college team on her sweatshirt and made some comment about their bowl game. Thankfully, this woman smiled at my daughter and didn’t seem phased by her bathroom proclamation.
Spread it around:
Love this Amy! One of those tricky conversations but definitely a must have for sure. Your delivery was excellent I must say. Now just get ready for the, “where do babies come from” question. My 6 year old niece caught me off guard with that question last summer in Gymboree in front of tons of Mom shoppers. She was wondering why I was doing so much for my son. My response was that babies are precious gifts from heaven that God assigns to Mommies and Daddies to love unconditionally and care for. She proceeded to ask, “well how does God put the baby in you belly”? At that point I had to take a big sip of my drink to stall from answering that one. Once I caught my composure, I told her that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage. Some of the ladies in the store giggled and applauded. Not sure she was old enough for the details or even if it was my place to go into all that. lol Thanks for sharing : )
i think you handled that very well! It’s funny the things our children say and when! So far mine, which are 5 and 7 and a boy and a girl, haven’t ever really said much about their different “parts” – even when they were younger. We have always told them that whatever is covered by their bathing suit/swim trunks is considered “private” to help them understand what exactly is private, especially for my daughter.
I love the names they give private parts. I’m not a stickler for the proper anatomical terms. I’ve taught them the correct anatomical terms, and they use those words sometimes, but will also use other words as well. Since so many of our body parts have other names (eg. abdomens are “tummies” or “bellies”, metatarsals are “piggies”, eyes are “peepers”, the gluteus maximus is “bottom” or “behind”, the head is your “noggin” or your “melon”, etc.), I don’t feel it’s creating any sort of stigma to use euphemism for sexual organs. Anyway, when I was last pregnant, Will was very aware of my being pregnant and was asking me how the baby got in there. I said that Daddy planted a seed in my belly like Pop Pop plants seeds in the garden. Then he said, “How did the seed get in there? How is the baby getting out? MOMMY, WHERE’S YOUR DOOR?!?” So now I call my vagina my door. When I started breastfeeding the third baby, Will also was much more aware. Kat was crying and my sister was holding her. Will said, “She’s hungry.” My sister said, “I know.” Will said, “Well, FEED her!” Whitney said, “I can’t!” Will said, “Yes, you can! You have humps!” She said, “Mine don’t have milk in them.” And he said, “Then why are they so big?” It cracked me up that he called them humps. None of us has ever used that term to refer to breasts, nor has he heard the Black Eyed Peas song, so that was just his natural description. Anyway, Charlotte’s saying “peanuts” made me laugh. She knew the word, she just confused it with another word she had heard more often. That’s another reason I’m not hard-core anatomical terms. Euphemisms are, in many cases, just easier for kids to say. Enjoyed the post.
I love hearing about the crazy things kids say, and the awkward situations they get their parents into! I often hear women in other stalls snicker when my kids are going on about how it stinks in there or that they heard somebody else peeing. lol
I found you through the SITS Girls Tribe Building Challenge and stopped by to say hello and take a look around. I look forward to getting to know you! Happy Monday!
So funny! My 3 year old has been mimicking her 6-year old brother. But being a little confused, she says to me, “Mommy, don’t look at my poopies. It’s my privates.”
Glad to meet another mom of crazies through the Sits Tribe
lol! totally been there! I have three boys and my oldest has asked me on numerous occasions if I needed a “peeper” and if he could go to the store and buy me one? No words! Glad to be in you tribe! Looking forward to getting to know you!
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