To The Starbucks Customer Who Paid For My Drink- 01/20/14
Dear Starbucks Customer,
There is no way you could have known that when I pulled up behind you in the drive-thru this week that I was so weighed down. I was weary and overwhelmed when I stopped for another caffeine boost.
There is no way you could have known that every day this week I have left my home feeling panicked and frazzled. My heart was heavy and I sometimes wanted to go off and cry to let it out. Occasionally I did. I questioned my choices. I couldn’t get my groove. I longed to hold my babies.
As if the first full week back at work after maternity leave wasn’t stressful enough, I got the call that my dad would need emergency surgery. There was no way you knew I was on my way to hospital to be with him when I pulled into Starbucks.
When I got to the window the barista told me, “The car in front of you paid for your drink.” I looked at her grin and let out a surprised breath. I drove off smiling because of your sweet blessing, stranger. Your gesture made knots in my back loosen a bit. It was nice.
In the hospital room I stared at the lipstick stains on the plastic lid and listened to my dad’s beeping IV machine. I contemplated what was next for me. One thing was for sure, I wanted to return your favor. I just didn’t know when I’d have a chance to go to the coffee shop the rest of the week.
I got my chance on Friday. The sitter brought the baby to the office Monday so I could feed him and snuggle him. It was a lovely little break in my day. I couldn’t wait for her to bring him in Friday. My coworkers admired my round little guy and his gummy smiles. I carried him down the three steps in the hallway. Three steps. That’s it. That’s all it took.
My heel caught the second step just the wrong way. I stumbled and tripped. My beautiful baby fell and hit his perfect little head on the rail. I was able to flip my body around before we hit the ground and he landed on me. “I fell! I fell!” I shouted. As if the loud thud, wailing infant and flying shoe didn’t give it away. My coworkers helped us up. We frantically searched his head for any signs of trauma. There were none. We went to a private room so I could nurse him. He stopped crying. The only thing was a little welt on his cheek. I called the pediatrician and made an appointment. He was fine. I knew he was. I was shaking as he was smiling.
I took him in as a precaution. I was driving and I felt like I was coming undone. He fell from my arms the week I went back to work. He fell! He fell at work! What was happening!? The appointment was at 2:15pm. It was 1:50pm. I didn’t want him in the germy waiting room for too long. I saw the green and white mermaid and could think of no better way to kill time than to repay the week’s good deed.
I told the barista I would pay for the person behind me. She grinned and said, “You know. The other day, we had a line of 30 customers who did that! It went on until the store closed!”
::pause::
Well, crap. I’m supposed to pay for the person behind me, right then? You mean I could have messed up some epic latte love line?! Ugh! I’m a baby dropping, coffee house faux pas!
I pulled into a parking spot and let it out. I cried, thinking of every deadline I scrambled to meet, each night I barely slept, my ailing father and my soft-skulled baby. Then I laughed. I laughed into my latte as I thought about my breach of etiquette in the Starbucks drive-thru.
So, thank you Starbucks customer for opening my eyes to the correct way to pay it forward. Thank you for helping me laugh through the tears of being a working mother.
Sincerely,
Amy
Spread it around:
Hang in there, you’ll find your groove. I found it much harder going back to work after my second baby. I think with our first we were just winging it, taking it one day at a time as it came. But with the second we know it’s hard and we know how fleeting the time is. With my third baby due in just a few weeks, I already have anxiety about the day I have to go back to work after my leave. I know I’ll have to eat my own words and “hang in there.” For now I just go through the motions doing my job, waiting for her arrival, trying not to rush time away by worrying about the end of my third and final maternity leave.
Thanks. I actually have big, career changing news coming up. I’ll post soon.
I don’t think you committed any faux pas. You paid it forward when it was right for you. Who knows maybe you started another chain of 30+ people treating each other to coffee.
I too have fallen down the stairs with the baby. It was terrifying…I still get a pit in my stomach when I think about it. I even gave her a bloody nose. Of course it was on her very last day home with me before she started going to a sitter. I cried more than she did. I laugh now because that night I kept telling my husband that sending her to the sitter was the right choice because clearly she’s not safe home alone with me.
Thanks. That’s reassuring to know. Absolutely terrifying!
awww. hang in there! <3
Thanks! ::hugs::
Has anyone not dropped their baby once? It happens to the best of us and is the worst 5 minutes ever!! It is amazing how quickly your cat reflexes kick in though and you can contort yourself to catch him/her!
Thanks Anita! Absolutely the most terrifying 5 min. you nailed it.
My husband slipped down our icy steps outside of our house yesterday. He was carrying our son. Thankfully, he was able to hold to to our baby (1 year old), and all the happened to my son was that he hit his mouth hard off my husband as they slid down the step. I was outside when it happened, although I didn’t see it. I heard my husband yell and my baby scream. I screamed as a gut-reaction, before I even knew what happened. It is terrifying when something like that happens. As I ran to see what happened, I just had visions of my baby laying in the snow, alone, and injured. Thankfully that wasn’t the case, but I can’t get the sound of his petrified cries out of my head. Glad that both of our babies are okay. It’s scary how fast an accident can happen. Happens to the best of us.
Ah! I’m so sorry! How scary for you! So glad they are okay!
Oh, Amy – you paid it forward when it was the right time for you and you’re good to go. That’s first and foremost. Second, I’m SO glad you and the wee one are okay. How scary that must have been for you! And I hope your dad is okay, too. I can’t imagine all of the stress that comes with worrying about him and being a new (yes, again, but still) momma. If you need anything, I’m here. Huge hugs your way.
Thanks girl! Hugs right back to you!
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