I see my husband’s intensity and mischievousness in my daughter. He is part of her. She is becoming her own person, no doubt. But, I see someone else more often.

During the Winter Olympics he asked her if she wanted to watch hockey, skiing or some other sport. “No, I want to watch figure skating, Daddy.”

Yeah, because that other stuff sucks compared to figure skating. I get it.

The other day I asked if she wanted to go to the toy store before we left the shopping center. “No, I want to go to the store with the dresses. ”

Atta girl.

My parents tell similar accounts of me as a 3-year-old. I make myself sound shallow with the girly-girl tales. It’s more than that. She is so much more. 

Yes, she dons her princess dresses with flair and twirls as all little girls do, but she is playing out a full-fledged saga in her mind. Her tales of heroes, villains and adventures have a beginning, middle and end. She feels the range of emotions of the characters that are real to her.

So like me.

My daughter chatters and chatters, telling us the tales of her imaginary friends who act out scenarios to make sense of her world. She immerses herself in books. She creates a heirarchy among her baby dolls. She seamlessly blends toys into the same make-believe family that never would have existed to others. She gives unique names to every toy.

I did the same.

She delights in being the oldest and the first, a little too much. She can be a bit entitled, but is wracked with guilt when it’s brought to her attention. The agony of disappointing her parents interrupts her need to push her boundaries.

I know the feeling.

She looks the part of a pretty, preppy girl, but occasionally feels the need to show on the outside that she is more on the inside. She has to show the quirk that makes her so unique.

I understand.

It is an equally funny and frightening thing to see your child have so many of your own traits. I watch her grow with hopes that she’ll take my strengths. I only hope that I can guide her through the weaknesses I know all too well.