Napless Wonder- May 19, 2014
Many other parents of 3 year-old’s seem surprised when I tell them mine still naps. They tell me how lucky I am because their child gave it up awhile ago. At age 3 1/2, Charlotte will usually sleep 1-3 hours every afternoon. Typically some time between 1:00pm to 5:00pm. We can get about 1 1/2 hours out of her most days. The 2-3 hour days are becoming far fewer, but still happen. When I tell parents this they say, “Really?! She naps everyday?”
Hell yeah, everyday.
Well, everyday but Saturday. Seriously. I can remember only one other day of her life that she did not take a nap besides Saturday. I swear to you, she’ll take a nap until kindergarten if it means she can hold her shit together better than she did then. We had a picnic/reunion with my old dance company. I was so excited about it. I got to see old friends from growing up. I checked the invitation. 2:00pm.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!
It was a perfect time for the party. It was a beautiful day. We had time to visit and eat. It was the perfect time for everyone but Charlotte. We tried an early nap before the reunion. No luck. The gracious hosts even offered a quiet room for little ones to nap if they needed it. She didn’t bite on that. There were toys, games and lots of food. It was a lovely and well organized event. I was thrilled to see my old teachers and friends. There were tons of 3 year-old’s happily running around and playing. They were totally fine. My kid was not fine.
Here are some shots of Charlotte captured by a friend during the reunion. I’m in the striped dress.
Multiple times I straight up left my baby laying in the stroller to deal with her. He was quiet or sleeping so I felt less guilty about that. Thank God for old friends who will hold your baby in the shade and give him a bottle. Charlotte tried. She really did. I could tell she was trying to be good, but she was just too tired. She cried. She didn’t want to play. By the time we got to the car she wasn’t even making sense. She was sobbing and wailing. When she shouted, “I don’t even like cupcakes anymore!” I knew she was delirious. She was not herself and I only have myself to blame.
Greyson was out-of-town. If he were in town, I probably would have had him take her home so she could sleep and Henry and I would have stayed. I was a solo parent and it was crazy. It was my special thing and I was excited. Sometimes I think we’ll just have to miss some things if it’s during nap time. It sucks, but I don’t know what else to do.
Don’t get me wrong, most days I LOVE that she still naps and I’m in no hurry for them to end, but it is inconvenient on other days. I have questions. I would love your answers to the following questions:
- Is there any rhyme or reason to why some kids nap and others don’t?
- Is it unusual for a 3 1/2 year-old to still nap, because I’m feeling like the minority?
- Do 4 and 5-year-old’s still take naps?
- I’m curious as to when they grow out of it. What did your kid do?
- What have pediatricians/teachers told you about napping?
- What do you do when your kid misses a nap?
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My kids have inherited my genetic trait for extreme napping. Will doesn’t usually nap any longer, except maybe on the weekends. I really think Will would still nap if his school schedule weren’t so weird. They don’t eat lunch until 1:30 and go down for naps around 2:30. I usually pick him up at 2 (since I’ve got planning at the end of the day and work right upstairs) because if he starts napping, the nap must run its course, and I don’t feel like hanging around work until 4:00 so that he can nap to his fullest capacity. If you interrupt a Will-nap, the rage is real, and I completely get it because I’m the same way. John and Kat still nap (John turned 3 in March), and they are long (and synchronized!) naps for both of them. And you’re right: When they are exhausted, they are delirious. Yesterday Will needed a nap, but didn’t take one and at 5:30, I ordered a pizza sans sausage and he had a full-fledged psychotic break in my face because of it. I’ve had other moms give me the incredulous, “HE STILL NAPS!?!” with the raised eyebrows and the look like I’m a selfish nap-Nazi for making my children take naps well-past when they should have stopped, but if a kid needs to nap, he/she should nap. And it’s more time for me to nap, so it’s a win-win.
I’ve never asked the pediatrician about it because it’s not really a problem for us, but our pediatrician has a little section on the check-up form that says how long they should sleep, what’s normal about naps and that it’s normal for kids to sleep more/less than the average.
When my kids miss a nap, my objective becomes “keep kid awake until bed time.” If it’s 2:30 and the nap hasn’t happened, the nap will not happen because it’ll last until 5:30 and then they’ll be impossible to get to sleep that nap. This usually means insane, manic behavior while driving on my part if I have to load them in the car because the car tends to put my sleepy children to sleep. It also means avoiding tranquil activities until bedtime. I usually make bedtime a half hour earlier on no-nap days. And yes, I decline all invitations during nap time unless my husband can stay home with the nappers. It’s just not worth it otherwise.
Okay! Thank you! Good to know! You are not a nap-Nazi. If I need to be one, I will become one. Make no mistake. I put her to bed at the same time just to keep her on schedule. She was a tiny terrorist. It was hell.
My oldest son old took 1-2 hour naps until the week before he started Kindergarten. He would have continued but I knew we needed to wean him off his nap since they don’t nap at school. (They get like a 20-minute “rest” the first few weeks, that’s it) He is almost 6 now and still occasionally takes a nap on the weekends if he’s up late the night before or has a big event to recover from. He needs his sleep and has always gone to bed easily.
My younger son, on the other hand, is not quite 4 and takes naps at preschool because he has to… but we started skipping weekend naps months ago. He stays up late and gets up early, just doesn’t need as much sleep as my oldest son. We put him to bed at 8 and he stays awake until 10:30 some nights.
I guess some kids just need more sleep that others.
Good to know. Also, maybe the younger one sees the older one not nap, so he doesn’t? Maybe that’s a second kid thing?
I believe that parents force their kids to give up naps. They are busy, and they are hard to work around. My kindergartener (who is almost a 1st grader) is upstairs right now taking a nap. Both my boys took naps until 1st grade — and I plan on my daughter doing the same — sometimes it sucks to give up running errands, going out to lunch, etc…Sure, I have done the skip the nap thing and my kids are like Charlotte, while other kids are fine — but if you talk to those parents, their kids are train wrecks later in the afternoon, or they don’t sleep as well at night, or even are sick more. You are letting your child get the sleep she needs. But it is always ok to push nap time or skip it once in a while when you need to! Just remember, you are doing what is right for your kids!
Thank you! Excellent points all around. I will let her nap as long as she needs it.
Stella, who is 3 1/2 years old still takes a nap 80% of the time! If she is active enough in the morning, she will take a nap. We actually have to wake her up so she doesn’t nap too long and it can cause her to not fall asleep till late at night. She is usually okay if she doesn’t nap but can get a little grumpy in the late afternoon. We have the occasional meltdown if she misses her nap. If she misses her nap, we just put her to bed early that night. You are not alone!
I try to keep her up and put her to bed at her normal time if she misses a nap so she won’t be too off, you know? Maybe a half hour early. I just hate when non-nap parents schedule birthday parties during nap time.
I know! Every time we see a fun family event or party at nap time, we give a heavy sigh and try to decide if it’s worth it or not! Then we ask “do other peoples kids not take naps?” I thought we were the only ones with a 3 1/2 year old that still naps. We insist on being consistent with naps. Not sure if we are doing it more for her or our sanity!
Landon still naps at 4.5. At school he does less but hell if I care. At home he knows when he is tired. He will say “mom I need rest time today”. Sometimes we let him skip now because he can handle it if we are being low key. Sometimes I can tell he needs it and he doesn’t agree. Then he has to play quietly in his room. 90% of the time he falls asleep.
With Ollie, we don’t allow nap skipping which I’m told is something people do with 2+ kids but nah. No one is happy when they don’t nap. We just divide and conquer. One stays home with the baby if need be (birthday parties at nap are coming…heads up. I hated that shit too).
I think some people hit a regression and give up. That’s how I see a lot of “my 18 month old gave up naps”. Nope! Littles need that unless they are sleeping a ton at night. Even still…you need at least a quiet break just as much. I think healthy sleep habits are really important in our house. I’ll fight for it.
Keep her napping. She will be a little more flexible soon…when Henry isn’t. Womp.
I HATE when parents with non-napping kids schedule their birthday parties at prime nap time. SUCKS! I will keep my kiddos napping as long as I can!
Naps ended around age 3 at my house, mainly because my kids would stay up until 11pm, if they napped. I am a sucky parent when I have to deal with overtired 3 yr olds at 11pm.
I’m a sucky parent when naps are missed. Funny how that happens.
My almost three year old begs us for nap time still and God forbid she doesn’t get at least an hour in the afternoon…she’ll make us pay. A normal nap lasts anywhere from 2 to 3 hours and many times I have to wake her up. I can see she’s still going to be taking a nap after her half day preschool which starts in the fall.
My niece is starting a full day preschool this fall and one of the school’s requirements is that the kids all take a nap (or rest quietly) during the allotted time so I don’t think it’s an odd thing that Charlotte still wants to nap.
If you wake her up, does she lose her mind?
My 3 year old naps every day usually 2- 3.5 hours. I will never end it. We skip things that are during nap time. We go late. I do not mess with nap time. Nap time = my time and the time where she acts nice again haha. I also teach preschool and in my group of 4 and 5 year olds all but 1 naps every day. There are some days that some others don’t nap either, but the Monday after a weekend? Or today after a long weekend? Everyone sleeps.
Oh, I nap when she naps for sure! Especially since Henry doesn’t always sleep through the night. Holy exhaustion!