It’s Been A Thong Day- June 2, 2014
This morning I had a heated mother-daughter discussion with my three-year-old about how it is not okay to wear socks with Crocs. She argued the Crocs have Cinderella, Ariel and Rapunzel and went perfectly with her socks that had Anna from “Frozen.” She looked at me like I was insane for believing otherwise.
She was dressed in her gymnastics leotard with a little cotton dress and capri pants over it. Gymnastics was after my exercise class. I gave up and let her wear the footwear of a princess. In hind sight I should have paid more attention to her wardrobe as she pilfered through my drawers while I was getting ready. I hustled the kiddos out the door, grumbling about how we are always late.
We made it and I got my workout in. At the end of my stroller workout class with other moms, the kids get out of the strollers to sing a song. She begged me to get out. That’s when I saw it. A saw a sliver of sheer pink I hadn’t seen in a very long time. I gasped. I peeked under her skirt and flashed back to a moment with my husband when the kids were definitely not around.
Yep. My three-year-old dug through my lingerie drawer, found a Victoria’s Secret thong that was once part of my honeymoon boudoir collection and wore it in public. I didn’t see it on her because her dress was covering it and I was in a hurry. Don’t worry. That thong was about as clean as it could be. I’m pretty sure I wore it for about two minutes on our honeymoon in Costa Rica nine years ago.
After I caught my breath I crouched down to her level outside the stroller. I could do that because I wasn’t wearing the flimsy excuse for underwear that she was. I said with a smirk, “Charlotte, did you go through my drawer?” She smirked back at me and said sheepishly, but with a bit of pride, “Yes! It’s pretty, Mama!” The other moms got a good laugh too.
It is extremely embarrassing and off-putting to see your child in negligee. But, it’s also hilarious. I can’t wait to return this embarrassment by telling her this story one day. It will embarrass her three fold:
- She will learn what lingerie is.
- She will learn that her mother owns lingerie designed to be wedged between her butt cheeks.
- She will learn that in the car she spilled her chocolate milk on the thong she refused to take off. By that point she’ll know what chocolate milk on underwear would imply. Ew.
Spread it around:
oh my god hahahahah
Right?! ::head smack::
Now THAT is a good story! Kids. Are. AWESOME.
Thanks! Kids are amazing. She cracks me up.
That’s a great story. Once John found the condom drawer and came out asking us to “open this candy.” We went upstairs and found “candy” scattered everywhere. I think Bill said, “I’d love to open that candy, John, but mommy won’t let me.” Then John turned to me and said, “Please, Mommy?!? Let Daddy open the candy?” It was disturbing… and funny.
Ha! That is awesome! Yep, they love that candy. I wanted to tell her Daddy thinks the pink panties are pretty too, but eww. Just, ewww.
I’m nearly crying with laughter. Oh my goodness. That is awesome. And here you thought the drama of the day was socks with Crocs (which, by the way, I’m guilty of letting my son do all the time – remember my confession last week at Sola? I’m so not a fashion person so it doesn’t phase me in the least
).
Yep! I thought the worst was the Crocs! Oh, how wrong I was!!!! I’m sure Dylan looks great in his sock/Crocs. Ha!
omg. This is TOO hilarious. And that you got a picture. omg. She has it on AS underwear. Dying. 😛
And I TRY to get my daughter to wear socks with her Crocs. Because stinky kid feet and sticky ones. Oy. I don’t usually get her to, though, so she’s fashion savvy.
It was the funniest, most disturbing thing, ever. So bizarre. 😉