Toxic Toys- March 20, 2015

One day this week Henry had his sister’s “My Little Pony” in the stroller. He was more than happy to take it from his sister after we dropped her off at preschool. Some little boy pointed at my son and said, “That’s a girl toy!”

I rolled my eyes. We’ve exhausted that haven’t we? The “Boy Toys” and “Girl Toys,” thing has been discussed ad nauseam. Let kids play with what they want. Shut up you little twerp. Ugh! I just wanted to shout, “Don’t you know about that poor, sweet boy who attempted suicide after being bullied for being a “Bronie?!” No, of course he doesn’t know that. He’s a little kid.

I didn’t respond. I just rolled Henry away. Honestly, I’m just grateful he’s playing with an actual toy. Here is a list of things I have had to take from my 1-year-old in the last week because he was playing with them.

Size 10 men’s Rainbow flip-flop
Bottle of Clinique Happy Heart perfume
World Atlas
Dog bed from the Martha Stewart Pet Collection that my dog has laid on twice
Jar of Miracle Whip
Nintendo Wii U Game Pad
Starbucks straw
Ice cube
Car keys
Clorox Toilet Wand and holder
Bottle of Eucerin lotion
Harris Teeter VIC card
Crock Pot lid
A half masticated baby carrot
Styrofoam bowl
A 2013 calendar
Decaf Keurig K-Cups
Weekly preschool report from the teacher
A window pane (Yep, he ripped it out of the window.)
The ottoman
Dog food (Which also made a good snack, apparently.)
Angry Birds boxer shorts
A battery powered candle
His own poop

So, when I see my son playing, instead of asking myself “Oh! Wait! Is this a ‘Boy Toy?!'” I ask myself “Wait! Is that toxic? Could he get sick from chewing that? How long should I wash his hands this time?” He can play with whatever he wants as long as it is a freakin’ TOY from the TOY AISLE! Maybe I should just get Clorox Toilet Wand refills for his Easter basket this year. He’d be thrilled.

Wait. Are those toxic?