It feels really good to be running. It’s not something I’ve done in the past, but I like stretching my limits and pushing my body. I ran the BlogHer 5k. It was my goal to run the morning of my birthday in Central Park. I wanted that good fresh start for 31. I want to set an example of good fitness for my daughter.

That all sounds fabulous doesn’t it?

::sigh:: Okay, I have a confession. Okay, two confessions. Alright, three.

1. The 5k wasn’t very organized and I met up with some girls and we ran about 2 miles. There was no real start and end point. It was just kind of like, “Okay! Enjoy your run, wherever you decide to go.” As bloggers, we all decided to go through Central Park. I still got up at 5:45am after being up until 1:00am the night before, so I consider this an accomplishment.

2. I’ve packed on a few in the past 8 months or so. I was able to breastfeed Charlotte for her entire first year. She never had formula. I was a pumping, nursing little milkmaid. I stopped pumping at 12 months and stopped nursing when she was 13 months.

Thanks to this I burned off the baby weight pretty quick. No running necessary. However, I haven’t cut back on my eating. For me, pregnancy hunger was NOTHING compared to breastfeeding hunger. I put it away!

3. Facebook has become a fitness motivator. I know what you’re thinking, “Amy, that is so shallow!” Oh, yeah. I know. I can admit that. I’m admitting this here and now for every woman who understands…

Nothing motivates you to work out like some girl you used to know looking fabulous on Facebook. I logged in a few months ago to find an old friend sauntering down the beach in her bikini. Her baby is about the same age as mine. Gah! She looked amazing! Another friend has already had two babies and posted a picture of herself scantily clad and skinny. What if I run into them somewhere?!?

Jealousy should not be a good motivator. I shouldn’t compare myself to other women. I need to be a better example as a woman raising a young girl.

Uh, yeah. But, I want to be hot too. My kid can’t read yet. She won’t know how shallow her mother really is for a long time. It’s cool.

It dawned on me the other day that a year from now my daughter will be 2 1/2. Well, okay it didn’t dawn on me as much as it hit me like “Oh s&*#! Really!?”

When is the best time to plan for Baby #2?

I understand that oftentimes planning is not the case as much as you just move forward with a little oopsy-daisy surprise after a weekend getaway. Maybe you played the odds after forgetting to get your pills filled and won big in the game of marital roulette? These are just some scenarios of friends of ours with darling little siblings.

I would like to plan if I could. We did for our first and I love the thought of her having a sister or brother about 3 years younger than her. (See reasons above.) I’m a firm believer that people need siblings. Not that there is anything wrong with being an only child, but imagine what kind of attention whore I would be WITHOUT my sister to knock me down a few pegs. Let’s face it, I’m bad enough already.

Assuming it only takes me 3 months to get knocked up like it did the first time, could I plan it out to the month? Is that even possible? Am I acting presumptive and selfish to think it’s going to be that easy again?

Let me state for the record, however, this is is just a blog post and no way an announcement. I’ve been in a new job for just six months and we’re trying to sell our house. Plus, I’m probably not going to talk about “trying”. It makes me feel icky. I’m starting to think kids 3 1/2 to 4 years apart is sufficient.

Thoughts?

About halfway through my first BlogHer conference I realized I had only slept about 5 hours in two days. There was no stopping at this realization. I was off to the next event. I said to my roommates, two of which had been there before, “Oh my God! This is insane. I am wiped!”

One responded, “That’s BlogHer!”

She was right. That was BlogHer. It was three days and nights of non-stop hand shaking, nametag reading, card swapping, and swag toting. This is all while anxiously smiling at people you may or may not recognize from their Twitter avatar and wondering what parties they got invited to.

That is BlogHer, but it’s so much more.

I decided I had the privilege of taking four days out of my life to be there and I was going to experience everything I could. I started with rushing off my plane into a cab to be at the hotel in time to hear the leader of the free world speak to bloggers. President Obama spoke via satellite to the conference. Later in the weekend we got to hear from Martha Stewart and Katie Couric. It was also Martha Stewart’s birthday on Friday. When the crowd started singing to her, I pretended they were singing “Happy Birthday” to me too. Martha and Katie were great, but not the ones who truly inspired me.

After hearing the posts of the BlogHer ’12 Voices of the Year winners I wanted to throw open my laptop and lay fingers to keyboard. What words could I come up with to create such beautiful stories? Could I craft a piece with that much meaning, humor, or poise? After this weekend I’m starting to believe I can.

The last night I got lucky enough to be in the same room as two of my blog idols. I saw Jill from Scary Mommy and Kat from Mama Kat’s Losin’ It. I watched them pile into the funny photo booth at one of the parties. They were so at ease, laughing together. It was clear they had “been-here-done-this” but were taking in some of the festivities anyway. I felt like a freshman watching the popular senior girls. Finally, I gathered my underclassman gumption and just went up to them and introduced myself. I told them how much I like their work and how they inspired me to write. Both seemed genuinely appreciative of my words.

I suppose I could walk away from the weekend thinking there is no way I’ll ever be as talented or successful with my blog as those women are with theirs’. Or, I could use BlogHer as a start. This was the launching pad I needed to take the next step.

After all, I did become a senior girl.

After the party where I got to meet Jill and Kat I met up with some of my fellow freshman bloggers. Above all else at BlogHer, I learned no one becomes successful without others. That means in my quest to get better, I have to support others.

Support. That’s BlogHer.

I know I should be spiritually moved to change the world with my URL after all Iearned and experienced at my first BlogHer conference. It was amazing, but right now, frankly, I’m effing tired.

I’m the kind of tired where you don’t care that you didn’t wash your hair this morning and you can’t remember if you brushed your teeth. But, it’s cool as long as the McDonald’s coffee you dribbled on your dirty jeans masks your morning breath.

I hope the guy next to me on this flight appreciates my Java scent. It’s Premium Blend, Sir! Don’t give me that look!

I learned a lot. I’ll write about all that tomorrow. For now I’ll just say that I learned a valuable lesson about conference swag after an unfortunate run-in with the TSA team at LaGuardia. Somehow they couldn’t appreciate the fact that bottles of expensive lotion mistakenly in my carry-on was for a blog giveaway for the amazing Erin of A Parenting Production. I tried to explain that it was a non-greasy formula. She still yanked the bottles from my arms with her blue-gloved hand of death.

I think her lotion-hating is letting the terrorists win.

Resistance is futile.  It’s futile for me when it comes to pop music.  ::sigh::  It’s true.  My fanaticism for the New Kids on the Block led to NKOTB shoelaces and sleeping bags.  I loved Madonna into the ’90’s when my peers preferred Nirvana.  There was that summer (in my adulthood) when I rocked that Miley Cyrus song on my iPod like, everyday.

I tried this summer.  I really did.  I tried to avoid the “Song of Summer 2012” that everyone is humming whether they like it or not.  But, when the Team USA Swim Team made this video to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” and my husband who is completely obsessed with the Olympics played it, like all the time, I was done.  Done.  I’ve been singing it non-stop.  Charlotte says “More! More!” when the song stops.  Ugh!

Add to my lack of futility, I found more caffeine.  I discovered Crystal Light Energy.  The girls at work have been going on about it for some time, now.  I felt AMAZING!  I got so much done today.  I had a great run tonight as I get ready for the BlogHer ’12 5K.  Guess what I listened to on the iPhone?

I told you.  Futile.