This baby is a pain in my butt- August 27, 2010
This is how exciting it gets here at Somebody’s Parents…I have an update on my nerve pain! Woo Hoo! Pull up a doughnut pillow and stay awhile. (I have a story involving a thong, it’s coming later in the post. Does that interest anyone?) If you missed it, here’s our first installment, “This baby is getting on my nerve”. It’s short, I promise.
My doctor replacement The Internet did in fact fail me. It was probably good that I went in to the office. The real doctor said the baby was pressing on my sciatic nerve but it wasn’t really sciatica because the pain didn’t go all the way down my leg. It has now shifted to my tail bone or coccyx bone. He, he, coccyx! (Don’t act like you don’t laugh at that word.)
The fraternities and sororities at our school were invited to the local minor league hockey game to play broomball between periods. This ridiculous game involves wearing sneakers on ice. Are you seeing the impending fracture? Five of my sorority sisters and I went downstairs in the arena between periods. (At this point in my life I had no idea hockey was played in 3 periods as I had not met my husband.) We met the opposing team, a sorority from another nearby University. These girls had to be former Olympic softball players. What we lacked in size compared to them, we more than lacked in broomball experience. These girls were suited up in helmets and had their sticks ready to go. Meanwhile, my friend Stephanie was upset because her helmet had been used and “smelled like a sweaty boy.”
I remember heading out on the ice, laughing about how slippery it was and how I had no idea what I was doing. I remember a loud buzzer. I remember I took two steps. Then BOOM! Down I went. I remember the stars in my eyes. I remember the black spots. I remember not being able to breathe. Mostly, I remember how freaking bad it hurt! I crawled off the ice. I remember the guy in charge of fan games for the coliseum trying to give me water from one of the players water bottles. I said, “Are you kidding? No, a gross guy drank out of that!” He rolled his eyes, assured I was okay, and helped me to the EMT booth.
(Okay, here comes the thong part.) A male and female EMT helped me on the table laying on my belly. The man left. The female EMT explained that I had fallen on my tail bone and that I should probably get an x-ray. She complained that “You young girls wear your jeans too tight and I can’t fit an icepack down your pants!” She asked me to undo my pants. I did. She saw the thong, and my butt cheeks. She said, “Good Lord! The underwear you girls wear!” I thanked her for her professionalism. That’s when the male EMT walked back in and saw my whole backside in all it’s glory.
My friends made fun of me the rest of the night. One or two took pity on the little doughnut pillow I sat on for the next week. I was a college kid, so needless to say I never got that x-ray. I just nursed it by re-freezing the same icepack over and over, and drinking a Miller Lite.
I think of this silly story every time my baby hurts my tail bone. That isn’t often since the doc suggested a body pillow and some exercises. Even though it hurts, it makes me smile. I was young, foolish, and I was having a great time. I never thought that day would replay in my mind as I expect my first child. Life is funny, almost as funny as stories about ice and thongs.
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haha.. i had severe neck/back pain for a few years and it still is nagging and i was like wtf did i do? replaying the past few years of life.. i determined it was the night i fell down a flight of stairs at a frat party. my friends wanted to go and i did not because i had found some hot guys that ihad already started making out with. yeah i was a whore. needless to say me holding on to a guy and my friend pulling my other arm ended with me tumbling down concrete stairs and hitting my head/back on cement. yeap. that night got me a summer of physical therapy and some steroid shots a few years later. good good times. and one killer hangover.
Oh Amy! How I wish I was still there when this happened! I wouldn't have laughed…too hard…no, really, that sucks girl. I hope your @ss feels better soon!