Scardy-mom- August 8, 2011
Yesterday at church the sermon was all about fear, how fear holds us back, and how we can overcome it. The minister rattled off a list of American adults’ most common fears. There was of course, public speaking, spiders, heights, failure, and clowns. (The clowns thing is dumb. I think adults afraid of clowns are acting to get attention. I find it hard to believe any grown-up truly has a “crippling fear” of clowns.)
I got to thinking about my biggest fear. I realized it’s changed. 9 months ago I would have said failure was my biggest fear. Not the case now. My biggest fear now is something happening to Charlotte. I fear her getting hurt, burned, cut, stabbed, suffocated, drowned, molested, harrassed, sick, falling off a subway platform, stung by a jellyfish, bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider, pricked by a cactus, getting addicted to Meth, bit by a rabid animal, becoming a victim of medical malpractice, kissed by a Dementor, or cyberbullied. (Thanks ABC Family for that last one.)
As the minister was speaking about overcoming fears I thought, “Oh God! How am I going to get past being afraid of all that?!?” Then I realized, I did something this past week to overcome my new-mama fears.
I bought this awesome little portable exersaucer thing that folds up like one of those tailgating chairs. I got it from One Step Ahead, and it is great! How did this thing help me be less afraid? I bought it to put out on the deck so Charlotte could play in it while we all enjoyed the top deck of our beach house last week.
If you’ll recall, much of my anxiety and the beginning of my Postpartum OCD all started with visions of a baby falling off the high deck of our beach house when I was pregnant. I had a lot of anxiety about this before our trip, but I absolutely refused to be crippled by this fear during our family vacation. I wasn’t scared, just cautious, and we had a great time.
I figure if I just prepare and face my fears head on, I can manage. So, I’m off to master my patronus charm and dismantle the Internet. Wish me luck.
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Amy, the dementors feed off fear. So you are already doing a great job not letting them get to you. I'm sorry you could feel their presence near when you were pregnant though…. 😉
I love that thing!! I was totally scared too – I still am! The idea of something happening to Isis is just beyond what I can really entertain in my mind for very long. When she got pneumonia & we could hear her breathing so bad from outside her bedroom door, I just cried! I think that's normal to a certain degree. But I really do love that little exersaucer! How convenient!!
Awesome! It's funny how we all have things we focus so hard on as parents – now that my son is 5 I distinctly remember there being a specific thing I was over-anxious about, but I can't remember what it was! That exersaucer is totally cool too.