They say your children teach you more than you teach them. I’m starting to believe that.

Recently my daughter was belting out the “Alphabet Song,” which she charmingly calls “ABCDEFG.” She barely took a breath before starting “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” I think she learned a Russian or Slovak version as she says “Tvinkle, Tvinkle.” So worldly.

My husband pauses. With realization dawning on his face he says, “Whoa! Do ‘ABC’s’ and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ have the same melody?!” I looked at him funny and replied, “Um, yeah, you didn’t know that?”

I’m no composer, but I have two ears.

Last week I was changing the baby’s diaper. He’s finally getting over a nasty cough. I was making the switch from dirty diaper to clean when he coughed.

Ya’ll. They moved.

I gasped and nearly jumped back from the changing table. Realization dawned on me. I said to my husband, “Oh, my God! That’s why they have  you guys turn your head and cough!” He looked at me funny and said, “Um, yeah, you didn’t know that?”

He’s no urologist, but he has two balls.

Dear Henry,

I made it. Right on the 6th I’ m writing this to you. Your ol’ mom may be getting the hang of this two children life.

Today Charlotte asked to hold you. I had her sit back and I used a throw pillow to support your head that doesn’t really need supported anymore. After a few moments she said, “He is getting really big, Mama! Can you take him now?” I laughed as I relieved her. That was the understatement of the month.

Son, you are well over 15 lbs. I suspect you are already 16 lbs. We’ll know for sure on your 4 month check-up next week. That means you have doubled your birth weight in 4 months. We get a good arm workout carrying you around. You can already wear your size 6 month clothes. Your baby chub is delicious and adorable! I’m sure I’ll embarrass you with that tidbit one day.

Your fourth month was a blur with big snow and ice storms and everyone in our house getting sick, but you stuck through it, all smiles. I have been loving all the one-on-one time with you. You are sweet, happy company. When you’re not eating, you’re smiling, giggling and trying to roll over. You rolled over once, but it was kind of an accident and you haven’t done it again, so I’m not counting it, yet. You love being with me in the wrap or the carrier. At the grocery store you like to face out and smile at everyone. Literally. There is not an aisle of the store where you aren’t stopped and admired.

You have been sitting in your Bumbo chair everyday. You are strong and push up with your legs when we hold you up. The cutest thing was your amazing foot discovery. You found your right foot, then your left and you haven’t let go. We chuckle at how you want to hold your feet all the time. You have started to show interest in rattles and baby toys, mostly by putting them in your mouth. Your sister loves to take them from you or aggressively cram one of these toys in your face. She means well. Most of the time.

Watching your relationship with Charlotte has been wonderful this month! Sometimes, if you get fussy and can’t be soothed, we put you in your bouncy seat in front of her while she plays and you calm right down. She tickles you and and you laugh. She smiles and you grin bigger than ever. That’s when my heart feels like it’s going to burst. Daddy and I love seeing you together.

Your few, fleeting nights of sleeping 6 hour stretches were right when I wrote your 3 month letter. Yeah, you slept like that for maybe a couple nights. Mama spoke too soon. We’re gonna have to figure out something to get you to start sleeping through the night.

You make the exhaustion worth it. You are such a good, sweet baby. I love every moment with you. I love you, my sweet, sweet boy.

Love,

Mama

I want to thank my parents for my fine liberal arts education. My bachelor’s degree in Media Studies/Television Broadcasting was put to great use during my years in TV news and public relations. I only think of the Dance minor I completed when I look at my still calloused feet and reminisce about my 19-year-old figure. Why didn’t I appreciate that body?! And why did my parents let me minor in Dance?!

I couldn’t tell you much of what I learned in many of my undergraduate classes. Mythology, anyone? That knowledge only surfaces during the occasional Jeopardy round. There is one class that has stuck with me. Its lessons haunt me every time I pick up the obscene amount of princess toys my three-year-old daughter has.

Gender and Media Culture was some 300 level class I took as a senior elective in the Media Studies major. This course ruined everything for me. Every movie. Every fairy tale. Everything. Did you know that everything is a metaphor for deflowering a virgin girl? I didn’t either. Did you know that every story we were ever told or movie we ever enjoyed was subconsciously poisoning us as women into thinking we have to be saved by a man and that nothing is more important than physical attractiveness? Yeah. Now I know.

Everything was based on the “Cinderella Principle” or something.  Don’t quote me on this. Basically, you have to have the makeover and magical transformation of the woman/girl before she is deflowered. The movies we had to watch included “Boys Don’t Cry” and “The Accused,” complete with violent rape scenes. We also had to watch a film version of Little Red Riding Hood from the 80’s with some doe-eyed virgin who turns into a wolf. Naturally, a metaphor for virginity loss. (Found it! It’s 1984’s “The Company of Wolves.” Ugh.)

Like every 3-year-old girl I know, my daughter has been completely seduced by everything princess. Well played Disney marketers. Well played. She LOVES princesses and I’m left stomaching all the metaphors. I don’t want to pooh-pooh the princesses because that would be scoffing at something that she likes, and thus scoffing at her. Here is my visual representation of what goes through my mind when I look at her toys/movies/books:

These are a little better. My princess thoughts warranted another graphic. Here you go:

The new Disney movies are amazing! I love some of the newest princesses:

My daughter has seen and loves all of these movies except for Snow White. (I don’t know how to tap into the Disney vault. How do they keep that think “locked” in the Internet age? Granted, I haven’t tried that hard. ) I see her glowing face when she giggles at the mice in Cinderella and when she twirls in her Belle dress. I giggle when she sings the misheard lyrics of “When Will My Life Begin?” Plus, when Ariel does this…

…it is so freaking awesome, I can’t stand it. It was awesome in 1989. It’s awesome now.  That’s the thing. Even though I know all the metaphors and understand Disney princesses have extremely unrealistic hair, I love them. My daughter loves them too. So, I guess that’s why this weekend I grit will my teeth, bury my feminist fury and snuggle with my daughter on the couch to watch a princess movie. As a child I understood that these were fairy tales, why wouldn’t she? It’s up to me to make sure Cinderella is just a fun story and that I am the real female role model in her life.

So take THAT Gender and Media Culture professor! I will watch princess movies and I will love them! Well, before I start worrying about superhero cartoons and their unrealistic portrayal of masculinity and what it will mean for my infant son in a few years. Dammit liberal arts education strikes again!

Ron Burgundy would have been jealous of my son’s head of hair when he came out of the womb 3.5 months ago. But, it was short lived. Poor kid. We got a glimpse of what Henry will look like in his early forties if male pattern baldness sets in. It has grown back. His extremely round noggin is a little more covered these days. Here’s a visual timeline of the loss and regrowth:

I didn’t realize I would be able to relate to my son in his hair loss plight. I disgusted my dear Instagram and Twitter followers a few weeks ago with this:

Granted, I have a lot of hair. It’s fine, but I have a lot of it. I’ve always liked my hair. It’s straight, shiny and looks good long or short. A tried and true brunette, the color is deep and not the grayish “mousy brown” many women bleach out and then call “blond.” With both pregnancies, my hair was thicker and shinier. It held curl better. I loved it.

Like clockwork, he hit 2.5 months or so and my hair started falling out as I remember it did after Charlotte was born, but this time it is WAY worse. When he turned three months it began coming out  in clumps. It has clogged the drain. It became a nest in the corner of the shower that could have comfortably housed a colony of some small amphibious animal. My husband accused me of using his sink. I tried to explain the uncontrollable migration of the shedding female mane. He looked at me today and said, “Should we be concerned? I mean. Should you talk to the doctor?”

It’s all over my children. It’s stuck in their clothes and on Charlotte’s plate. Since I nurse Henry all day and night and wear him around in a carrier, he gets the worst of it. When I had him at the pediatrician for a follow-up this week I confessed the grossest part of my hair loss. One of my hairs was wedged between his butt cheeks when I changed his diaper the other day. That’s when the doctor assured me that he likely had not ingested the hair, but that it fell out when I was changing him. She did, however, warn me of the dangers of hair tourniquets. Yeah, that’s when you could unknowingly tie off a tiny toe or a tiny penis with your hair. Ugh.

I read up on postpartum hair loss and it sounds like I’ll be okay by the time he’s one. I’m definitely getting a haircut soon. I think that will help. My hair is really long right now. I’m not to the Rogaine point yet, but I’ve considered changing shampoos or doing the shampooless-shampoo thing. I’ve ditched the comb for now and try to use my brush with wide bristles. I would love to hear any other hair loss stories and advice here.

My son’s hair returning gives me hope. Who knew I’d long for a pregnancy side-effect? To my pregnant friends: Hold on to those hair hormones!

Dear Henry,

I’m a little late with this month’s letter. You were 3 months old on February 6. No longer a newborn, you are officially an infant. Your third month was an eventful one for our family! I went back to work and you started staying with a sitter who was your sister’s old teacher. You had a great time with Miss Danielle. The toddlers she also keeps greeted you with smiles and a big “Henny!” every time they saw you.

But, I missed you Henry. I missed you and Charlotte. I decided to come home and spend more time with you. It’s the only time I will have with you as a baby. Every day that we snuggle on the couch and you smile at me as we doze off is amazing. You are soft and warm. We giggle at your cute baby chub. You are a whopping 13 lbs. 10 oz. Daddy and I love kissing your cheeks and making you smile.

Charlotte loves being with you and making you laugh too. She loves you so much, she’s even willing to share her germs. Yep. You got sick for the first time at 2.5 months old. It started with a cough and runny nose before a fever and ear infection. One day we even went to the doctor twice. You took it all in stride. You smiled the whole way through it. You laughed at us as you spit out the pink medicine we desperately tried to get you to swallow. Rascal.

Your cousin was born. You and he are 2.5 months, or 11 weeks and one day apart. Our family is so excited to see you grow together.

Your most fabulous feat? At 12 weeks you found your circadian rhythm! Oh, son! It was  so wonderful to have you sleep for 6 hours. Your sickness set you back a bit, and you’ve been waking up again. I’m hoping the irresistible beat of the circadian rhythm will lure you back to sleep for longer stretches soon.

You’re such a sweet baby We can’t believe you’re 3 months old, yet it feels like you’ve been part of our family for so much longer than 90 days.

I love you, my sweet, sweet boy.

Love,

Mama